Merry Christmas

I'll be going dark for the next few days, as we are hosting Christmas at our place this year. And Kadie casts withering glances in my general direction whenever I'm online while there's work to be done. I'll leave you with the following quote from the Rev. Robert A Sirico, to which I can only say Amen! May God bless each of you this weekend!

"The message of Christmas has implications that go well beyond any one geographic region of the world, or even any one religion. The specific Christian contention that, at a particular point in history, the God by Whom and for Whom all things were made, elected to insinuate Himself into the human condition, has ramifications for all cultures and their peoples. This belief teaches us to take seriously human history, its institutions, economies and social relationships, for all of this, and more, is the stuff from which human destiny is discovered and directed. It is my prayer, at this sobering and holy time of the year, that you, in the midst of your families and your work, will discover the eternal significance of the contingency of time so as to experience the bliss that eternity affords. "

HT: Phi Beta Cons

Morning Debates

I’ve learned more about debate and carefully honed arguments at home than I ever did in debate or logic classes. This morning provides an example.

Since I am out of school at the moment, Kadie is picking up some day shifts so that she can be home a couple of evenings this week. In typical morning habit, after Scooter’s daily encounter with the monster, I took Skeeter up to her school. (We live .9 miles from the school and you must live at least 1 mile to ride the bus.)

Squealer, roused from his bed at the last second, is blinking stupidly from the back seat when the following discussion takes place.

Skeeter: “Squealer, are you tall or little?”

I don’t point out to her that, strictly speaking, these categories are not binary opposites.

Squealer continues to sit and blink.

Skeeter: (Louder this time) “Squealer, are you tall or little?”

Squealer slowly looks at her. After a second he says “I’m little.”

“No, you’re tall.” Skeeter replies.

Squealer, now roused from his somnambulance, begins to shout “I’M NOT TALL. I’M LITTLE!”

Skeeter waits quietly and thinks for a minute. Then she says:

Skeeter: “You're taller than a stump.”

Squealer sits in stunned silence, evidently trying to figure out what a stump is.

Skeeter “And you’re taller than concrete, and taller than a person who has tripped.”

Squealer responds to this barrage of logic by leaning back in his seat and sitting motionlessly. Skeeter stares at him waiting for his next argumentative rejoinder. When no verbal riposte comes, she sits back in her seat with a smile.

Mercifully we arrive at her school and she gets out of the minivan and skips triumphantly to class.

Huh?

Every weekend I get around 100 emails from various liberal arts disciplines issuing calls for conference papers (CFP). These cover most every literary and cultural topic available and range from tiny regional meetings in the academic hinterlands through the largest conferences in the nation (many of which draw thousands of academics).

Since scholarship is required for continued excellence in teaching (ummm, as well as for tenure) I subscribe to a listserv that sends out these CFPs by the truckload. And many of them are rather interesting.

This one caught my eye. It is a CFP for a graduate student seminar at New York University. After giving a basic outline of the conference, it offers the following suggestions for paper topics:

Proposals may address, but are not restricted to, the following topics:
Influence, tradition, and intellectual debt
Debt and civic participation
Translation and debt
Debt and the gift
Responsibility, restitution, reconciliation, revenge
Debt as a category of relation to an other
Debt and the national imaginary
Remembering, memorializing, and monumentalizing debt
Debt and inheritance
Exchange, interest, and accumulation
Debt and class
The ethics of the loan
Debt and historiography
Queering debt
Licensing, permission, and intellectual property
Debt and the State/the State of the Debt
Monitoring debt: justice and forgiveness
Debt and the (academic) institution

I am utterly bumfuzzled by the suggested proposal “Queering Debt”. Queer studies has become established over the last several years as an area of literary studies, but I have absolutely no idea what gender theory has to do with running up your credit card. (In fact, Googling “Queering Debt” reveals only publications of this call for papers.) So while Queer Studies is more established than say Fat Studies, this particular call for papers leaves me confused.

Grades are Due

This morning is the most stressful time of the semester for department chairs. Grades must be entered onto the computer mainframe by 10:00 am. What this means is that I have to verify that all of the department’s faculty get their grades entered for each section they teach. In our department that is about 70 sections.

What makes the time table so precise is that we have graduation two days after grades are due. Apparently, it takes a period of time to get the final grades into the system so that we can see who has not met their final course requirements (i.e. those who have failed). (It falls to the Deans of each college to make the phone calls to seniors who have failed to pass their final classes of the year. They must tell the students that they have failed and should call back all their friends and family and request that they not come to graduation---because the student will not be walking the stage. This onerous task has earned for that day the sobriquet "Black Wednesday". )

But I digress.

This morning, I arrived in the office and our secretary went through our classes in order to determine who had not yet turned in their grades. At 10:00 am, the computer locks out anyone else from entering in the grades. The provost of the university calls the individual college deans and lets them know what faculty have not yet turned in their grades.

The deans then call the faculty chairs who must chase after the faculty and get them to turn in their grades online. (The provost kicks the deans, who then kick the chairs, who then look vainly for someone else to kick.) What makes this challenging is the fact that last week was finals week and after the last class period, faculty are even more elusive than they are during the regular semester.

Someone in the department always screws up and gets too close to the deadline. This morning was no different. We had seven classes (and three faculty members) who had not turned in their grades as we neared the deadline.

I then had to deal with the following situations:

Teacher #1 is an adjunct who stated that he thought the 10:00 deadline meant 10:00 PM.

Hmmm.

I chose to believe him and confessed to him that I might not have specified the pm. Maybe I’ll convert the department to military time to avoid future conflicts. To make amends, he emailed me his students’ grades. In the process, he shattered numerous state and federal privacy laws. “Please don’t do that again.” I gently requested through clenched teeth.

The other two ne’er do wells were full time faculty members who have been teaching for years. In each case they waited until the last minute, encountered difficulties that kept them from getting the grades entered into the computer. Then the 10:00 (am) deadline hit and they were locked out of the campus computer system.

Teacher #2 mentioned that she thought that 10:00 am wasn’t the real deadline, but that I had set the deadline artificially early in order to get all the grades in on time. I told her no, that 10:00 was the real deadline but I liked her idea. “In May,” I told her, “your grades will be due by Friday at 5:00 pm.”

Teacher #3 deducts points due to absences unless they are substantiated by a doctor. But he didn’t set a deadline on the time that the students needed to get their excuses to him. So this morning he was on the phone with students and with their doctors trying to substantiate excuses. He was also repeatedly calling our department secretary from his home asking her to check the fax machine.

While validating the fact that he went the extra mile for his students, I “encouraged” him to plan a bit better in advance so that this won’t happen again. Finally, I asked the IT guys if they could open up the grades for another hour. They generously complied.

By far, the most stressful day of the semester, and what made it stressful was dealing with faculty, not students.

A Passing, A Prayer Request

DD, a dear friend of mine from seminary and a frequent commenter on this blog visited with his mom in the hospital a Tuesday afternoon and she passed on to heaven a few hours after their visit. Her funeral is Saturday and DD and his brother are conducting it. Please say a prayer for him and his family.

God Bless!

A Trip to Wal-Mart

Life changes when I go to the store in Kadie’s absence. When she pulls an evening shift, and there is shopping to be done, the children and I descend upon a local, unsuspecting retail outlet. Last night we went to Wal-Mart, in order to fetch some groceries. Scooter and Skeeter are at a delightful age where their requests are few and easily ignored.

Skeeter, on the other hand is pure recklessness. Before we entered the store, I asked him to state again the 2 rules for stores:

1) Don’t run away

and

2) Don’t touch stuff

After he repeats them, I have him state the consequences of his actions (like Moses in Deut 28). The consequence of a transgression of either law is:

3) Or else I will ride in the cart.


These two rules have been carefully crafted over the last several years, ever since Squealer was old enough to walk on his own. In my experience, these rules should provide a meaningful balance between freedom and responsibility (the twin poles that serve as boundaries for us all).

In order to reinforce these ideas, I have him carefully repeat each one, as a creed, before we enter the store.

I think that the banishment to the cart seat is an appropriate response. For Squealer, immobility is severe, as I’ve noted before. Squealer exists to move. And if he is not moving, he is not fulfilling his telos. In order to keep him manageable, we go through these commands ritualistically anytime we enter into a store. We’ve spent untold minutes over the last few years before entering into commercial locations.

And it never works.

As soon as we enter the store, his restlessness grows. When the girls are with me, I often use them to keep him corralled. Since he also grabs for things on the aisle (whether he’s in the cart or not) I rarely take him down into the grocery aisle itself. Instead, I will stop the cart near the beginning of the aisle, tell the girls to watch him, and then I’ll head down through the busy aisle while they remain on the outside. In that way, I follow the paths of my ancestors who would often establish a basecamp and then engage on foraging forays into the wilderness in search of food.

Normally, this arrangement works adequately. They will keep him busy (by doing things like swinging him as they hold a pair of his feet and hands, or playing “I Spy” etc.).

But yesterday was not a normal day.

As I was picking up a few bottles of Caffeine Free Diet Coke (“After the caffeine and sugar go, what’s left?” Kadie always asks), I heard Scooter yelling. “Dad! Squealer won’t come back.” I made my way through the press of people and encountered a scene I would never have imagined.

He was amongst the cheese. (again, he clearly has a lactose addiction).

Between the wall of the Wal-Mart and the food aisles, are large, refrigerated, display bins. In these bins are located a wide assortment of cold, sliced, packages of cheese. Squealer had climbed into one of these bins and was walking on large packages of Kraft sliced American cheese. He also had a substantial grin on his face.

As I maneuvered around him, circling him like prey, he took up the challenge and proceeded to mirror my movements so that I could not get near him. Finally, using the girls like sheep-dogs, I was able to manipulate him until he was within my grasp.

I grabbed him and caught him by the hood of his sweatshirt. As I grabbed him and brought him up to eye level I said “SQUEALER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!!!!” He paused for just a second, and in his eyes I saw a blazing euphoria, unbefore seen in his 3 ½ year old life.

He shouted triumphantly “DADDY! I STAND ON CHEESE!!!!” as though he had just fulfilled one of his major life goals…as though he had conquered a lactose fortified Mount Everest...as though he could now pass from this earth into the sweet hereafter in perfect contentment.

There were too many people staring at us for me to beat him (and alas, I always leave Mr. Buster at home). And technically, I had never before forbidden him from traipsing amongst the Munster. So I slowly gathered our things and headed for the checkout line.

And he rode in the cart for the rest of the evening.

But somehow, with his slight grin and the song of triumph on his lips, I could tell that he thought it was worth it.

A Holy Space

For myself, there is a geographical center for ministry. I know of a holy of holies where the presence of God is made manifest to me in a way like nowhere else. Other ministers might locate the center of God’s presence elsewhere, but I am confident that my gifts are in one particular area of ministry.

It is in the hospital.

I have always felt comfortable in hospitals. After my Dad got out of the Air Force, one of his first jobs was working as an assistant hospital administrator. (I recall as a six or seven year old asking Dad what he did for a living and he replied “I do things like making sure that all the bed sheets get washed.” So for years I thought my Dad was a launderer.) After school I would go up to his hospital office, finish my homework and then simply wander around through the hospital halls or go play in the enormous warehouse where they stored extra beds and medical equipment. And yes, I would often jump on the beds.

Mom was (and is) a registered dietician and has served as the food coordinator for several hospitals and nursing homes over the years. She also worked with a local hospital to establish one of the first hospices in our state. Conversation around the house often centered around the various politics of hospital administration or the rising costs of health care.

I suppose that it was inevitable I would marry a nurse, and so these conversations continue in our own home.

So perhaps I come by my affinity for hospital ministry honestly. I like preaching and I enjoy visiting members in their homes. I love to baptize of course, and to officiate at funerals. (Like others though, I am not so fond of weddings).

But I love to visit the sick in hospitals. Physically, you see them at their worst. But I am amazed, time and time again about their remarkable faith. It is an old line, but nonetheless true that I always receive more than I give in these situations. I have been blessed not to have experienced hospitalization since I was seven or eight, but I do not think I would respond too well. (A sentiment Kadie would certainly endorse. A good intestinal virus has me on my knees singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot in a matter of hours).

But there is something sacrosanct that occurs amidst the beeps of IV machines and the hum of ventilators. As we care for the least of these, we care for Him. As I take their hands to pray, I become the one through whom Christ ministers. As I share words of comfort, a psalm, and a prayer, I most feel like I am sharing the words of Christ.

I have a lot of second guesses how I share (or don’t share) the gospel with people I meet. I kick myself on a weekly basis about misstatements, clumsy errors, or poorly organized thoughts during a sermon. I spend time going over and over in my mind how cluelessly I conducted my last committee meeting.

But I never have doubts when I walk out of the hospital room. It is in the moment of a hospital visit that I feel most Christlike.

Thanksgiving (II)

Frivolity—On Thursday morning, Bonita and Kadie took the kids to the Houston Day parade while Bartolo, Steve, Dad and I sat around and talked prepared for the Thanksgiving meal. The kids loved the parade, but then stood in shock as they got home and watched the exact same (tape delayed) parade on television. Bonita is especially good at finding fun things for her nieces to do. They colored Thanksgiving cards for everyone, assembled numerous ornaments, and decorated a Christmas tree under her direction. I am certain that Bonita violated several child labor laws, but she’s a lawyer and can deal with the feds. (Plus the kids all loved it.)

Shopping on Black Friday presented a dilemma. Sleep in or get up far too early for the purpose of great savings. After much high-level negotiation, we decided not to go out shopping early Friday morning. Although we were also sorely tempted by the filthy lucre of the $250.00 laptops that ensnared Dave and his son, we ultimately opted not to go out. Our conclusion was that arriving at a store at 4:00 am is never the “Best” Buy. Essentially: sloth trumped greed.

Fun—Sunday evening we attended opening night of the Behold the Lamb of God (scroll down to listen) tour by Andrew Peterson. He and some friends apparently get together and perform a musical concert that traces the promise of the coming King from the old testament into the new. I enjoyed the performance, but my favorite part of the evening was the first music set. Peterson and several members of the Square Peg Alliance musical team performed for us. Each person performed two songs and they rotated their performances so that (as Peterson said) “If you really dislike one of us, just wait a minute and someone else will be performing.” I enjoyed each of the performers, though my favorites were Peterson, Derek Webb (of Caedmon’s Call fame) and a new (to me) guy, Andy Gullahorn. Gullahorn in particular was interesting because he was funny (always a plus) and also was very honest in his music. I had the distinct impression that he was more a Christian who happens to make music than a Christian Musician with all the baggage that it implies (grist for a future blog entry). My favorite part of his website is the haiku reviews he has composed of his own concerts. Here's an example:

8-22-06 SPA Show Nashville, TN

Let us just pretend
All of that feedback we heard
Was angels singing

Scooter and Skeeter enjoyed the concert immensely, and it was only later that I realized that it was their first one. I was pleased to be there with them. If the tour comes by your neck of the woods, I encourage you to go by…(and by the way, if you would like to download a free Derek Webb CD (legally) then click here. Offer ends December 1). Sorry Bartolo, it is the same one you just purchased at the concert:(

Overall it was a fantastic weekend. I was reminded yet again of the importance of family. I regret that we live so far away from my brother and sister-in-law...

Thanksgiving Weekend

A tremendous weekend at the Casa de Bartolo y Bonita in Houston.

Five F's for all of my alliterative friends.

We had Family:

In addition to myself and our brood, my parents and youngest brother came down on Wednesday. My youngest brother Steve is fifteen and knows all. He’s currently working on his driver’s license and was driving the car when they were pulled over:

Officer: May I please see your license and registration?

Steve: Her it is, sir. (My parents are arguing in the background)

Officer: Did you know that your tail-light is out and your proof of insurance is out of date??

Steve: “Perhaps you’d like to talk to my parents…”

The officer let him off with a warning…

I really enjoyed Steve at this meeting. He, Bartolo and I played basketball with my Dad for about the first time ever. We played Horse (which Steve suggested we change to “Loser” because of our embarrassing play) and even some two-on-two in a local park. I don’t recall us ever doing this before. Steve is a good eighteen years younger than Bartolo and twenty-two years younger than myself. Since Steve was born the same year I got married, we’ve never lived in the same house together. I’m looking forward to other opportunities to hang out with him. Modesty prevents me from mentioning who utterly dominated on the court.

We had Food:

We had a great Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings. The centerpiece of the meal was a culinary dish Bartolo created called “Trash Can Turkey.” Results were…interesting. I should have some pics up tomorrow. Bonita and Bartolo graciously accommodated our new weird diet, and put us up for five days (not an inexpensive proposition with three kiddos)

We had Football:

Bartolo actually uttered the phrase “I think we’ve seen enough football” late Sunday evening. On Thanksgiving we watched the Cowboys crush the Bucs. All hail Tony Romo! (Geez, even Achilles had his heel, I haven't seen Romo's weakness yet). We skipped the Lion’s game. (Does anyone ever actually watch that game??) Then that evening we saw a bit of the BC/Miami game. On Friday we watched UT lose to A&M—Bartolo is an Aggie, so much rejoicing accompanied their win. On Saturday we went to the Rice-SMU game and joined a joyous throng as Rice completed an improbable season as they defeated the ponies from Dallas. Sunday we watched the Texans stink it up and caught a bit of the Patriots-Bears matchup.

Around and between all of these games Bartolo, Steve and myself played Madden 2006 football. None of us play it that much, so we were whipped pretty soundly.

(Tomorrow--Frivolitry and Fun!)

The Service (II)

“I am not absolutely certain that God called me to leave Susan Song” began Brother Jones. I was shocked to hear this, but no one else had much of a reaction. He continued “…but looking back on it, I am sure that it was the best for me and for the church.” The text of his sermon was Acts 21 when Paul is saying goodbye to his friends shortly before his arrest. His message was very conversational and Brother Jones mentioned several people by name. Many tears were shed.

He talked about the (much needed) new siding they had put on the church, and about the bright sign that the church placed in the front (a sign that generates much pride in the church and community). These events marked the physical evidences from his ministry. Brother Jones also spent time recounting the emotional and spiritual legacies he leaves behind. He talked a bit about walking through the valley of the shadow with several families who lost loved ones. In short, his message was perfect for the occasion.

He concluded by simply looking at me and saying “Brother Taran, what do I do now?”I had Brother Jones and his wife stand at the front of the sanctuary while the church gathered around them and prayed for them. I then offered a benediction and a blessing on the meal following the service. We then retired to the fellowship hall and feasted on a Susan Song potluck meal. During the meal we were surrounded by posters full of pictures of the weddings, baptisms and visits that he had performed while at Susan Song. In the corner there was a video of a musical the church had performed while he was pastor. So as we dined on potluck brisket and potatoes and mac and cheese, we were surrounded by eight years of ministry. At the end of the afternoon, Rev. Jones thanked me for convincing him to come back. Several church members remarked on how wonderful the day’s events had been.

It was a very, very gratifying day.

The Service (I)

The day of the service, there was an unusual edge of excitement. When I arrived, Brother Jones was already there. It is an odd feeling when there is a pastor and a former pastor present at the same service. We each have our own ritual of meeting folks and shaking hands at the beginning of the service. I remember once at Lone Oak Baptist that a former pastor came back to preach. It was an odd feeling right before the service as the two of us worked the room.

A lot of new faces came out for Brother Jones' return. Our normal congregation of a dozen swelled up to thirty or more as his large, extended family descended on the church. There were several members present whom I had never seen. Brother Jones' two sons were there with their wives and kids.

The service was designed to reflect on the work that God did through brother Jones during his time at Susan Song Baptist. I tried to design the service so that it would be a worship service and for us to keep our focus on what the Lord did over the last eight years, not on what Jones did. This was an important distinction that I think the church generally did a good job keeping.

I offered the welcome and thanked Jones and his family for coming. I also read from Ecclesiastes 3 “For every thing there is a season” to introduce the idea of seasons of life for congregations. I thanked Smith for his time of service and invoked the Lord to be present in the service. Then I got out of the way and sat on the back row.

We followed our traditional hymns, but interspersed two testimonies in the service. One was from Mrs. Carpenter whose husband passed away after a lengthy illness. She shared with the congregation how dedicated Bro. Jones was during this difficult time in her life. She talked about how much time he spent at the hospital and how he prayed often with her during this difficult time in her life.

We then sang a few more hymns and Mrs. Landry stood up and shared how encouraging Brother Jones’ family had been over the previous eight years. Plus Brother Jones had married her daughter and her son-in-law. (Which led to the typical SBC humor “Thank you brother Jones for marrying my daughter. Tee hee hee!”)

After Mrs. Carpenter, I prepared to sing the next hymn. But from my perch on the back row, I suddenly saw Mrs. Nelson stand up and say “I know that I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but I really need to share what is on my heart.” She then shared how Brother Jones stopped her after a church service and asked if he could pray with her. “If you would not have stopped me, I never would’ve come back to this church.”

Another seven or eight people stood and shared how much Brother Jones meant to them as the Spirit moved. Many wept as they shared with him how much he meant to them. The time of testimony was holy and cathartic at the same time. Following this tremendously encouraging time was the sermon. All of the love and emotion expressed during the testimonies led to a tremendous sense of expectation when brother Jones reached the pulpit.

So I almost fell out of my pew when the first words out of his mouth were “I am not completely sure that God called me to leave Susan Song as Pastor…”

Eating Pizza (II)

After discussing his ministry history, Brother Jones abruptly brought up the reason for our lunch. “What do you want from me?” he said.

I didn’t expect that question, but tried to recover quickly. “I would like you and your family to come back to the church and let us have a time together to celebrate the ministry that God has done through you over the last eight years at Susan Song.”

“Well, the truth is I don’t really need that.” he responded. “I mean, that church is a good church and although I was there for eight years I don’t need any kind of special ceremony.”

I thought for a moment.

“Brother Jones,” I said carefully “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. But I do want you to understand that my interest is not primarily in what you do or do not need. I am a lot more concerned about the church. And they need closure. Whether you need this or not is irrelevent.”

I wondered how he would take this.

“The problem was. I didn’t know how to leave. So when I reached my decision, I just left.” he said quietly. “I mean, what point is there in staying at a church any longer after you decide to go? ” I wasn’t sure if this question was rhetorical or not, so I nodded and took another bite of pepperoni pizza.

“So what exactly do I need to do?” he asked, with some resignation.

I replied “All I want you to do is to come back for a service. Preach the message, and let us have a meal with you and your family afterwards. It will be a time of celebration as you let the church love on you and your family a little bit.”

He chewed this over in his mind as he chewed the cheese pizza in his hand.

I tried another tactic. “Do you realize that Mrs. Bernice and David and Sharon weren’t even there the Wednesday night you resigned? The feel that they really didn’t get to say good-bye because they missed that one Wednesday night.”

Pause.

“Plus you just told me that as a young man you swore to God that if anyone ever asked you to preach that you would do so.”

After I said this last line, great gusts of laughter same rumbling out of his throat. “Brother Taran, right after I told you that, I thought I’d regret it. And I sure do!” he laughed.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll come and preach to the church. We can stay around and eat afterwards. That’s something we really love to do anyways” he said as he patted his belly.

But then he turned serious. His eyes moistened as he carefully said “But the truth is, this church walked with us during some difficult days when my mother died. They held me up while my wife was sick for those seven months. They encouraged me and loved on me more than you can imagine. Brother Taran, the truth is they ministered to me, far more than I ever ministered to them. The have loved me and my family for years and have kept me going through some very, very difficult times.”

I paused for a moment, realizing that we were on holy ground as we sat in the non-smoking section.

I said simply “They really need to hear you say that.”

And he nodded.

Eating Pizza (I)

As I entered the hole-in-the-wall pizzeria, I immediately spotted Brother Jones, even though we’d never met. He was big, a Mack truck of a man. I had been told that he was huge—not fat, but big. But I was immediately glad that I was only paying for his buffet. His head was shaved and we locked eyes immediately as I walked in the room, pushing past the smoking section and over to him.

“Brother Taran” he said. I nodded and he continued “I wondered how I would recognize you.” He laughed nervously. We shook hands and immediately headed for the buffet, I had a diet coke with my pizza, while he had a regular. We sat down, prayed, and then began to talk.

"I'm as nervous as a cat" he said absently.

Without my prompting, he shared with me the more recent struggles that he and his wife have had. They have taken in numerous foster kids, especially teenagers and his voice wavered as he mentioned how much pain some of these kids have been through. He told me about one pair of sisters who were with them whose house had been in such a state of filth that even I had read about it in the local paper. His heart was even bigger than his body.

I asked him to tell me about his call to the ministry. He said he felt called at the age of thirty-five. He grew up in a rural town outside the city and attended country churches his whole life. While taking on greater responsibilities in the various churches he was a member of, he struggled with learning the “accepted way” of Baptist life. For example, he attended one ordination service and the minister conducting the service asked the candidate about the King James Version of the Bible. The candidate responded that the KJV was the only acceptable translation and that all the other versions were “of the devil.” Brother Jones then quietly hid his own New International Version from sight.

“God told me” he said “that if ever a man came and asked me to preach, I’d say ‘Yes!’ Several years later I was asked to preach at a small, country church. I pastored there for two hard years.”

He then shared with me his eight years of ministry at Susan Song. It was his second church, but by far his longest pastorate. It had been an exciting, and a difficult time. It started off well. They fixed up the church grounds and began to work on the outside of the church. They added a new sign that he bought in an auction for $100.00. They fixed it up for $300.00 and a church member ran the electrical line to the sign. It is the biggest sign in town and lights up the country night every evening. Pride was evident in his voice when he described the early years there.

Finishing History

We've been wrapping up the church history at Susan Song lately.

I’ve had a hard time tracking down the previous pastor of Susan Song. As I’ve mentioned before, Brother Jones left rather suddenly. He showed up on a Wednesday evening for prayer meeting and said “Tonight is my last night as your pastor.” And walked out the door.

The impact on the church was substantial. They wondered the real reason why he left. People in the community stopped them in the grocery store and asked “What did ya’ll do to run him off?” The hardest part for the church members was to say “I don’t know what we did” and to wonder the answer to that question as well.

So after arriving I decided to track Brother Jones down and find out his thoughts on the church. I also wanted to invite him back for a celebration of his ministry that would provide closure for his time with the church. But I was warned by some of the church members that “He won’t talk to you and certainly won’t come back here!”

So I got his phone number and began to call him and leave messages with his wife. I tried unsuccessfully for a period of several months (August through October) to get in touch with him. I was unsuccessful. But then my secretary entered into the picture.

About ten years ago she was in his Sunday School class at another church. So she knew him and knew about my intentional interim ministry at his church. She also had not seen him for eight years. Around a month ago, she and her family went to breakfast at McDonald’s and ran into him.

After initial greetings, he mentioned that he had recently resigned as pastor at Susan Song after an eight year ministry. She said “I know, and do you want to know how I knew that? It’s because my boss is the intentional interim pastor there. And he’s been trying to talk to you for weeks.”

Brother Jones said “Oh…”

He then said something along the lines of “I guess if I ran into you after ten years, maybe God wants me to do something.

And the next time I called Brother Jones he answered the phone and we set up a meeting.

We would, as he said, “Break pizza together.”

Confirmation that I was right to destroy my BOA Card

Reason #4,867 to eliminate your credit cards:

So that Bank of American employees with no longer have time to put things like this together.

http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2006/11/how_bank_of_ame.html

(There is far more of a praise and worhip feel to this video than to some churches I know...)

Tenure Thoughts (Service)

Service is simply the non-teaching, non-research work that the faculty member performs in support of the mission of the university or your field. It usually takes the form of committee work. It can include working on any aspect of university life. For example:

--Hiring committees (composes job advertisements, gets their approval form Human Resources, and searches for new faculty.

--Courses and Curriculum (approves modifications to current courses or new ones. It also works on new program offerings).

--SACS (our accrediting agency) compliance committee

Etc.

Service records those activities that no one really wants to do but need to get done in order for the university to run (semi)efficiently. The strange thing is, (actually, and this is mind boggling) I have encountered some people who LOVE committee meetings. They sit and linger, they hope that it continues on and on. There is rarely an agenda and when there is, people add to it willy-nilly and suck up the available amount of time.

I don’t get it.

The only thing more boring than these meetings would be a post about the meetings!!

Tenure Thoughts (II)

I think that research is critical to the academic enterprise. It is also the most quantifiable of the three divisions. Research includes articles, book reviews, books, presentations, and other scholarly activity. But the specific requirements for research is perhaps the most specific to the university. For example, many SBC institutions would (quite naturally) include contributions to the Biblical Illustrator (the journal that assists Sunday School teachers) as scholarly, but not many other schools. There is also a clear division between the Evangelical Theological Society and the American Academy of Religion or Society of Biblical Literature. ETS would not be considered an appropriate level of scholarship at many state institutions and even some denominational schools. (I haven’t attended a meeting there, but I do know some fine academics engaged in that society).

But essentially the tenure committee looks for the fact that the professor continues to be engaged in critical scholarship. This would be the equivalent of continuing education credits offered in many professional organizations. The average school requires two or three articles (over six years), four or five professional presentations and numerous book reviews. Some upper level schools require two books (assuming one is the dissertation, and at least a contract on a second). Obviously these are gross overgeneralizations.

At my institution, we probably require a little less than average in this area. A few articles and a few presentations would qualify for tenure, although recently we have had several candidates for tenure who had a book contract in hand.

As for me and my house, I am a bit light in the article department (1 plus a few encyclopedia entries) but I do have a dozen or so presentations at regional and national meetings as well as several book reviews. What cinches it for me (I hope)is that I do have a book coming out next spring by a university press. It is a book on the Psalms (of course). That should complete my research case for tenure.

Real Beauty

I work alongside many artists. Because some in our department teach computer aided graphic design, I knew a bit about how pictures of models are "touched up" for magazine covers and advertisements. But there is something remarkable about watching it happen.

I viewed this video with Scooter and Skeeter and we talked about beauty in contemporary Western culture. It was very helpful in illustrating how artificial popular conceptions of beauty are.

Tenure Thoughts

There are some technical requirements for tenure. Generally the faculty member must possess a terminal degree. In addition, the faculty member must have served a particular length of time (usually six years) at the rank of assistant professor, although this can be negotiated. There are also some specific requirements that will vary from institution to institution.

But at most universities, including my own, the requirements for tenure fall into three broad areas: teaching, research, and service. There is also an unwritten category generally called collegiality.

In my school, teaching is an absolute prerequisite for tenure. You can be weak in one or more of the other areas and still get tenure. But if you are weak in the classroom, it is very, very difficult. At research institutions, other areas are paramount, but at many smaller Liberal Arts institutions, teaching is the main mission of the university.

Teaching is, however, notoriously difficult to measure. Basically we attempt to measure teaching by student surveys and by peer evaluations. Student surveys are very flawed mechanisms (for example they presuppose that students know good teaching when they see it!). But they do show at least the student perception of the teacher. Peer evaluations occur when a senior level faculty member observes a junior faculty member actually teach a class. These evaluations are less helpful as they are very artificial. The whole classroom dynamic changes when there is an observer present.

Oh and there is also http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/. The teaching profession really hates that website.

On Jobs and Fulfillment

I’m drawn to some of the darker texts in the bible. Ecclesiastes, some of the Psalms and Job are the film noir of the Old Testament. But I was struck by the comfort and wisdom found in Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

“For this is what I have seen to be good: it is fitting to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of the life God gives us; for this is our lot. Likewise all to whom God gives wealth and possessions and whom he enables to enjoy them and to accept their lot and find enjoyment in their toil—this is the gift of God. For they will scarcely brood over the days of their lives, because God keeps them occupied with the joy of their hearts.”

Almost every person I know, in and out of the ministry, is dissatisfied with their current job or looking forward to their next job more than they are to their current position.

One whom God grants fulfillment in their occupation is richly blessed indeed.

On Tenure

Since I have been consumed with this lately, I thought I would blog about my approaching request for tenure. Tenure is a right, granted to professors to teach in an environment where they needn’t fear retribution for the content of their teaching. Academic freedom is the catch phrase that is used to justify this practice. Tenure gives the faculty member protection from job-related repercussions of the content of their teaching, and (theoretically) can not be taken away.

Essentially it boils down to the idea that faculty (or certain administrators) cannot be fired for what they teach or who they cross in the day to day responsibilities of their employment. Tenured faculty can only be terminated for grossly abusing their responsibilities as professors (not showing up for work, or continued practice of detrimental dealings with students) or due to extreme financial hardship on the university (which happened to some tenured faculty in Louisiana after Katrina). It has also been declared in the case of at least one Baptist college.

Although there is much discussion on both sides, I (unsurprisingly) think that it is an important (if severely flawed) instrument. It frees faculty to express thoughts and opinions that can goad institutions or the larger society in important directions. I also think that it is this reason that it is virtually nonexistent at institutions connected to the Southern Baptist Convention. Although Art has recently discussed the concept of academic freedom at SBC seminaries, but the reality is that it has been diminishing for years at SBC insitutions.

In my case, working at a state insisution provides me more freedom than my colleague at many Baptist colleges and more than at all seminaries.

But how do you ensure that tenure is not awarded improperly or to the undeserving? Some thoughts tomorrow…

Scooter Conversation

Due to an evening meeting, I was able to come home early in the afternoon yesterday. When I walked in the door at three, Scooter was already there:

Scooter: "DADDY! You're home early!!!!"

Taran (pleased with her excitement): "Yes, I got off work early today!!"

Scooter: "Did you get fired?????"

Taran: "Thanks kid. Thanks a lot."

Mancation

What a great weekend!! My brother, Bartolo, and I shared a fantastic Mancation. A mancation is a time of getting away from normal responsibilities to hang out with each other.* We went to Dallas, Texas and spent much time in book stores (Bartolo is also afflicted with an affinity for books) and watching every second of every baseball playoff game on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday evenings. Capping off our weekend we went to see the Cowboys thrash the Texans (which pleased me but depressed my brother). (Cheese)Life is so busy and relationships are of such low priority that we spend far to little time with those we love most. (/cheese). It was a great time.

*Note, I Googled the term mancation and ended up with many definitions that involved much drunken revelry and general debauchery. Such activities did not characterize our mancation…alas.

Social Studies Exam

Scooter and I were studying for her social studies exam on Egypt. We studied about Akhenaten (no, not that one) Ra, and Nefertiti. But Scooter couldn't quite get the importance of King Tutankhamen (no, not that one), who had a fairly uneventful reign.


Of course, I had to explain that King Tut was actually born in Arizonia before he moved to Babylonia. She was puzzled until, thanks to the wonders of YouTube...





After we watched it she was silent for a second and then said "Isn't that the guy from Cheaper by the Dozen 2?"

Goodbye to the Fanksy Poon

Corporal punishment has made our home a less chaotic place.

We made the decision several years ago that we would spank the kids only when their actions placed their lives in danger. So Scooter and Skeeter received spankings pretty rarely—essentially only for things like walking out into the street or running away from us in a public place. That system worked very well and we’ve not had to spank either of them in years.

And then we had a son.

We started out with the same general principle for Squealer that we did for the girls. But after about three years, we realized that we were going to have to change tactics. Despite his abhorrence for time outs, Squealer often ignores them and continues to repeat the behavior that led to them. So with that in mind, we began to utilize a small wooden spoon to swat his behind when he repeatedly transgressed his limitations. We initially called it the “Spanky Spoon,” but Squealer couldn’t pronounce that so he refers to it as the “Fanksy Poon” (and of course, we all began to refer to it as Fanksy Poon as well).

But Squealer has matured to the point where a wooden spoon not longer accomplishes is corporal task. Because of this fact, I made one purchase during the rummage sale of which I am particularly proud. I purchased a sturdy paddle from an old ball and paddle game.

I have named it Mr. Buster. Scooter and Squealer took great delight in drawing a mean face on it. The face is frowning and saying the words "Squealer, get back in bed!!"

I’ll let you know when it is ummm…… broken in.

Susan Song Update

The intentional interim process continues at Susan Song Baptist. The church had never planned out a calendar of upcoming events before, so we began that process and it has taken us a few weeks. When we finish the year (next Wednesday) I’ll ask them to look over the calendar and see how many events they have planned that do not concern fellowship. I think that it will be a good tool to help them see their identity.

Last weekend we held a community-wide rummage sale in order to pay the insurance for the church (which runs around $1,500.00 a year). We raised $900 which was a great start. I worked the sale and enjoyed getting to see the people from the church in their natural habitat, away from the Sunday morning service.

I am still trying to reach the former pastor for lunch. He has not been returning my phone calls although I found out form a mutual friend that he has received them. I will try one more time and then write him a letter. I think that it will be good for the church if he returns to the church and lets us celebrate his ministry. Those who know him say that he has a great sense of anxiety.

I hope that he overcomes it!

Final Thoughts on Ramsey

I've thought more about finances in the last two years than I have in my previous thirty-five. Some final thoughts:

1) I am amazed at how pervasive debt is today. School debt, car debt, and a thirty year mortgage (or fifty????!!!!) is the norm. That is a lot of money flying out the door each month. A colleague of mine leased a new car recently. We're close and he knew of our plan. He said "I don't consider a car payment an option. You have to have one and I'll have one the rest of my life." We've decided to get off this debt merry-go-round.

2)The greatest feeling about sloughing off our debt like so much dead skin is the flexibility it has given us. We can now respond to impending crises by rechanneling our money from investments to stockpiling cash when the demands of life appear. We can respond to immediate crises by using our emergency fund. That flexibility feels very liberating.

3) We also have more money to give. Ramsey is big on tithing and while we've been on his plan we've given money to the work of our church like we've never been in a position to give before.

4) My profession is infested with debt. Student debt is rising astronomically, with the average undergrad completing their degree with $19,000.00 in debt. Life is no better for graduate students either. I am concerned about students who go heavily in debt to get into a profession that won't allow them to pay it off in a reasonable length of time.

5) Ramsey's plan isn't perfect. My main criticism is that it is pretty cookie-cutter in its approach. He is a lot stronger on getting out of debt than he is on investing. Probably because so many more people need to get out of debt than they need to invest.

6) Finally, I think one great appeal about Ramsey is the power of his personal narrative. He was a millionaire before the age of thirty, lost it all, and was a millionaire again before forty. The experience of going bankrupt seared into his personality an aversion to debt. Being anti-debt is now a crusade for him.

His plan is simple, but not easy. It is also is not instant wealth or get-rich quick. It is methodical, and takes decades to achieve financial goals. It is simple, but not easy.

As he says "I sell crock-pots, not microwaves."

Why not give it a shot? I would recommend starting by reading The Total Money Makeover.

Baby Steps Four, Five, and Six (VII)

These three steps are carried out simultaneously.

Step Four is 15% of gross income into retirement. We've been putting only 8% of my income into retirement, so we really need to kick this up. We are in the process of setting up an automatic draft into some Roth IRA's for this. Ramsey recommends Roth because it grows tax free. I'd rather pay the taxes now rather than later because I know that I have the money now. Who knows how things will look in thirty years??

Step Five is saving for kid's college. Regrettably, the school system I work for does not pay for tuition for dependants. (I literally do not know of another system or school that does NOT provide tuition assistence for faculty kiddos). We are on our own. Our goal, starting next year, is to save up $2000.00 per kid, per year into an Educational Savings Account. That won't pay for Harvard, but it will get them started. Scooter (at age 11) is the one I'm mostly concerned about paying for. Our goal is to pay off the house by the time she begins so that we can work to cash flow her first year. Which brings us to...

Step Six is to pay off the house early. Ramsey recommends no more than a 15 year fixed rate mortgage, which was the only thing we were doing correctly when we began his program. At this stage, he advises you to pay what extra amount that you can on the balance. We have about 12 years left on the note now and will really work to pay it off in seven years. We are starting off this year by paying an extra $80.00 a month which will pay a bit more than an extra payment per year. Obviously we will need to increase that to meet our goal.

Final thoughts tomorrow...

Baby Step Three (VI)

The third baby step is to build up your emergency fund to 3-6 months of expenses. This is a general rule of thumb that I've seen recommended in some other places as well. Since Kadie (the nurse) and I have reasonably (ummm...mostly) secure jobs, we opted for the three month expenses emergency fund.

For us, that equates to about $12,000. In some ways, this step was the hardest. It took almost as long as Baby Step two, but without the gratification of seeing our debts evaporate. Plus, I must confess that we were not as diligent and focused as we were on Step Two. One gets lax when the wolf is no longer at the door.

It took us until September to save up the money. But now we've done it. We've put $2,000.00 in our local credit union (earning nothing) and the other $10,000.00 into a Capitol One Money Market account (earning 4.8% interest). We figured it would be nice to earn some interest off them for once.

We celebrated tonight at the same Japanese Steak House. Squealer enjoys the open flames. He's got some pyromania in him!

Baby Steps One and Two (V)

So Kadie and I made some plans. First, we decided not to get the minivan fixed right away. We waited for a month to save up the money to repair it. My parents graciously loaned us a car for that month. Kadie then signed onto a contract and began to work extra shifts to generate the $3,300.00 for the new car engine.

We then turned our attention to Ramsey’s plan.

Baby step one was the easiest. Dave suggests $1,000.00 in your baby emergency fund. We had around $1,200.00 in the bank, so this was the easiest of our goals to meet. We pulled out $200.00 to throw at our debts and turned our attention to paying off debt.

Baby step two was the hardest. Ramsey says to lay out your debts, from smallest to largest, (except for your mortgage) and then begin to pay them off. Our debt snowball looked something like this:

$200.00 Bank of America Credit Card
$380.00 Discover Card
$1,100.00 Best Buy computer payment (at a lovely 0% interest)
$17,520.00 Our 2005 Saturn VUE

In March of 2005 we began to pay off these debts. We started with the lowest and worked our way through them. Ramsey reccomends starting with the lowest total amount (as opposed to highest interest rate) in order to make some quick progress.

The toughest debt (obviously) was the car. We purchased the car in November and then took charge of our debt the following spring. Dave recommends keeping the car if you can pay off all your debts within 18 months of starting his plan. We figured that we could meet those guidelines.

And we did it. Kadie worked a few contracts and we cut our expenditures down substantially. We stretched our paychecks and tightened the screws on our budgets. Instead of taking an extended road trip for a vactaion (like to Colorado or Virginia, as we had in past summers) we stayed at a relatives home for a weekend. That was our "big" vacation. We spent more time at home and our riding bikes.

The last month, January of 2006, was the toughest. In that last month our microwave died (it was a wedding gift that had survived 14 years of culinary abuse); our dish-washer died; and our garbage disposal died (right after I had installed our new dish washer, Kadie was CERTAIN that I had screwed something up); and Kadie had her debit card stolen at work (amusingly, they went out and immediately began buying gas. It was when gas hovered in the $2.80’s).

So despite the challenges, we paid off all our debts by November, as well as the $3,300 for the rebuilt minivan engine. When we took our last payment check to the post office to put it in the mail we brought Skeeter, Scooter and Squealer all into the lobby to help us drop it in. And then to celebrate as a family we went out to eat at a really nice Japanese steak house.

And yes, we paid in cash.

Implementing the Plan (IV)

Kadie and I had to make several changes to how we approached our finances. But the first thing we had to do was simply to pay attention. Due to our exceptional fiscal laziness, we had not kept good track of our finances. Here’s one example: When I started my current job, I was given the choice of receiving my pay over the course of twelve months or over the course of nine. We chose twelve months…or at least we thought we did. Actually we were being paid over nine months but didn’t even realize it. So when February rolled around I suddenly realized that my pay would end in another two months. I grew concerned that our kids would start getting hungry after that last paycheck.

Fortunately, due to summer school and Kadie picking up some extra shifts, we survived. That story is but one account of our inattention to our finances. Miraculously we survived, but have never felt any sense of financial stability. We realized that we initially needed to follow two suggestions of Ramsey.

First: the dreaded budget. We sat down and worked out a budget. Actually, Kadie wrote out the budget and then we went over it. Ramsey suggests that one spouse is usually more detail oriented than the other…he refers to them as the nerd. Kadie was a math major before she transferred to nursing school, so we each felt comfortable with her crunching the numbers.

As noted earlier, I am what Ramsey refers to as the free spirit, not often bound by details. But the free spirit has to make a change in the budget. That gives us ownership in the budget too. So I made a small change and we had our first budget.

Our second choice was to go with the envelope system. This is a collection of envelopes into which you divide up things that you normally pay cash for. In our case we established envelopes for entertainment, grocery, clothes, allowance for the kids, and gifts. We then placed a certain amount of cash in each envelope after every paycheck. When the envelope is empty…well, that’s it until you get paid again. The kids (and our friends!) have gotten used to us declining dining invitations with “Sorry, we’d love to but the envelope is empty!” I particularly found this helpful as a visual reminder that money is limited. It hurts more to pay with cash than it does to pay with a credit or debit card. More than anything else, this has forced us to live within our means.

Next: Our debts!!

Outlining The Plan (III)

Dave Ramsey’s plan consists of seven steps, which he calls baby steps to illustrate their simplicity (he stole the term from this film).

Baby Step One: Save $1,000.00 in the bank as a baby emergency fund.

Baby Step Two: List all of your debts from smallest to largest. Begin paying the smallest debt off first, paying minimum payments on the rest of the debts. After you eliminate the smallest debt, you take that money and begin applying it to the next smallest debt. And so on. Each time you finish a debt, you get a little more money to take aim at the next debt. Over the weeks and months, your “debt snowball” grows bigger and bigger until by the end, you are paying down thousands of dollars a month on one debt.

Baby Step Three: Build up your baby emergency fund (From Baby Step One) into a fully funded emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of expenses into savings.

Baby Step Four: Invest 15% of your gross income into retirement savings.

Baby Step Five: Save Money for kid’s college (if applicable)

Baby Step Six: Pay extra on your home mortgage.

Baby Step Seven: Invest and gain wealth. Then start giving it away.


Ramsey's plan is simple, but not easy. By simple, I mean he says nothing here that is too complex for non-business majors. In fact, the chief criticism of his plan that I’ve read is that it isn’t nuanced enough. But we have found it helpful to have things spelled out so clearly.

But it isn’t easy. It required us to change our outlook on money (or, more accurately, to develop an outlook on personal finance).

Next, tackling the snowball!

Up the Baby Steps (II)

(For Entry I, click here)

“I’ve been listening to this guy on the radio named Dave Ramsey and he has a really cool book out” was PT Girl’s response. “We’ve used his plan to pay off thousands of dollars in debt this year” she continued. “It’s called the Total Money Makeover”

It would be an understatement to say that I listened with a skeptical ear. Graduate school beat into me (or nurtured what was already there) more than my fair share of cynicism. I am awfully critical of someone if I detect even a whiff of promotion from their program or plan. And talk radio jocks are the worst. To top it all off, I couldn’t imagine a cheesier name for a book.

But I agreed to read the book and see what he had to say. I certainly didn’t have any answers. I then read the book over the course of two evenings. And in it Ramsey laid out a plan to gain control of your finances that struck me as doable.

Essentially, Ramsey argues the following:

**Debt robs you of your income, which is really your only wealth building power, so you should work to eliminate debt as fast as you can. Once you have no more debt you can invest in retirement and education for your kids.

Well, that kinda makes sense. We had hundreds of dollars a month going out to service our debt. I could see that we would have some money to invest if we eliminated those loans.

**Putting down a written budget is the key toward meeting your financial goals.

Kadie and I ran a budget the first year or so of our marriage. We were given one of Larry Burkett's books as a wedding gift. Neither of us can figure out why we stopped running one. Probably due to laziness.

Two things Ramsey said resonated with me:

1) Try the plan for two or three months. If you don’t like it, then you can go back into debt as quickly as you want.

2) Getting out of debt, sticking to a budget and investing for the future is hard. (I knew that!!). But then Ramsey pointed out that being broke is hard too. So if they are both hard, why not pick the hard that will provide more money for your family?

Kadie and I had no budget and were pretty much running our household finances with a wet finger in the air, never sure which way our money was blowing. This led to occasional bouts of frustration as we would get notification that a check had bounced or that we needed to get a short term loan to cover our yearly income tax. The worst feeling was checking our account online, just a few days after payday and wondering where all the money had gone.

So we figured that we would give Ramsey’s plan a shot, if only for a few months…

(Tomorrow: The plan…)

Part of the Emphemera Still Floating Around in my Brain.....

Thirty years later, I still cannot get these images out of my mind...







And the One that started them all: The Yip Yip Martians meet the Telephone...






The Sleestacks still frighten me. And I still, bitterly hold Sidd and Marty Krofft personally responsible for so much that went wrong in the 1970's....

Otters and Lions and Hair—Oh My

I am considering changing the name of my blog to something like: An Otter’s Tale.

Gary Smalley distinguishes four personality types along two axes: Lion (leaders)/Retrievers (followers) on one axis and Beaver (workers)/Otter (players) along the other. I’m a Lion/Otter. My administrative responsibilities have forced upon me more elements of Beaverness than I care for, but that is the reward for showing any Leonine potential at my current educational institution. And I am incredibly blessed by our departmental secretary—who is truly a gift from God (and I mean that in all sincerity and sans fromage). She is meticulous and enjoys scanning papers for details and number crunching (shiver).

But once in awhile, my otter nature makes my life more difficult than it could be. Take this morning for example. I get up early with the girls and Scooter scoots off to the bus around 7:00. As bleary-eyed Skeeter and I go through our morning routine (Kadie sleeps in, having worked the late shift last night), it dawns on me that I could walk her to school, take our two dogs and then complete a brief run before arriving at work around 9:30. (Several morning arrivals this week allowed me to come in a bit later today.)

So I walk her to school and then continue running/walking for another 45 minutes or so. I return to the house at 8:50. Squealer is now up, and so is Kadie. The phone rings and it is our departmental secretary. "Payroll has to be approved by 9:00" she says.

"Crud!" I mutter. (Crud is my personal Christian expletive of choice).

Payroll has to be approved for all faculty in our department and for all student workers every two weeks. I have observed repeatedly that people become quite irate when their paychecks are delayed. And of course I have to sign off on payroll by enttering a code into our computer system software. That I cannot access from off campus.

So I find a Baylor cap to cover my motley morning hair and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I prepare to leave. I am in a gray T-shirt with gray gym shorts, unshaven, unbathed, and sweaty. I get in the car and race up to school. Fortunately I live very close. Unfortunately I remember that 9:00 for a MWF class is the busiest time of the academic week. There are several hundred students going into our building, as well as faculty who are late arriving to campus.

I pull into a parking space and a junior faculty member in our department pulls in right next to me.

Stupid timing.

We get out of our cars at the same time and he does a double take. "Are we allowed to wear that?" he asks questioningly. (A good response would’ve been a Tom Swiftie "I’ll break you in half if you ask me again!" Taran snapped.) Instead I mutter something about casual Fridays and pulled my cap down lower across my forehead and put my sunglasses in place.

I arrive at the door to our building and see one of our student workers standing there. He doesn’t catch my eye, so I realize that he hasn’t seen me. I get past him and start to open the building door. He says "Dr. Taran, I almost didn’t recognize you!"

Stupid almost.

I quickly make my way to our departmental offices. Our secretary sees me and is completely unsurprised at my outfit. I approve payroll on the computer and start to head back to the parking lot. "Nice hair" she yells over my shoulder. I ignore her.

Later that day, when I have safely returned to school in proper attire a student mentions "I heard about your new look Dr. Taran." And the last vestige of my pride seeps away.

Stupid Otter!

But I enjoyed the walk with Squealer and the run with the dogs.

Letting Go

One of the difficulties I have encountered in my short time (2 months) as the Intentional Interim (II) of Susan Song is the extent to which I should provide direction and make decisions. Due to my background as a former pastor, I tend to diagnose the problem and to make decisions pretty quickly. But my task as the II is to remind the church that they are a distinct community of faith that need not depend upon their pastor for their sole sense of identity and leadership. So I am encouraging them to move in a (productive) direction in which they feel led.

In churches that come from a pastor led model, there can be a hesitation for leadership. The pastor has made all of the decisions, so they naturally look to me to provide guidance. One early challenge has been to give them space and an opportunity to discuss options and possibilities.

I am convinced that God is working in this process. Just as important (if not moreso) they are convinced that God is working in their midst, obviously a tremendous source of comfort for any community of faith.

A Bleg

Please pray for my brother, Bartolo, who takes his doctoral exams at 9:00 am EST on Friday morning.

Thanks!

Up the Baby Steps (I)

Kadie and I are accomplishing some significant (for us) financial goals. I wanted to spend a few days blogging about them because they have impacted our lives so tremendously. Most of you who read this will slowly shake your heads and think “What poor, miserable financial slobs.” I have no doubt that most of you learned these lessons long ago.

But I blog our experiences for two reasons: to have a written record, and also to encourage others who may be in financial binds that they can get out of them.

Two years ago, in March of 2004, we received some devastating financial news. Our Ford Windstar’s engine had imploded and it would cost 3,500 to install a new engine. Given the important fact that we had nowhere near that much money in our bank account, we were stunned by how to respond. In particular, we were resigned to the fact that we were going to have to borrow the money to pay for the repairs.

The fact that we were in such a position infuriated me. At that time we had been married for a dozen years and had seen our income rise from living off the tips I could pry from unwilling customers to a good, fulltime job for me and part time nursing work for Kadie. In short, our income had never been higher...but we were not living within our means. We had purchased a home and and our expenses exceeded our income as much now as they ever had. In fact, we had really never had more in the bank than we did that fateful day in March when we got the news on the car.

While talking with PT Girl about the engine a few days later, she asked if she could offer me some financial advice. I recall my response was something along the lines of “Whatever we’ve been doing has not been working out for us at all. Tell me what you’ve got…”

Blessings in a Jar

I attended my first business meeting at Susan Song last Wednesday. It was conducted in the same, informal way that so many are in smaller churches across the convention. During the meeting, one member made a motion that “We use the blessings jar for the $300.00” and then she turned and grinned at me. I had no idea what she was talking about.

But apparently Susan Song has a glass vase that they keep on the Lord’s Supper Table (?!) in front of the pulpit. From week to week, as people feel led, they place money in the vase and it grows over time. What the church has voted to do is use the money to pay for the reflections time at the end of the interim. I thought that was a very appropriate solution that should resolve our pinch from a few weeks ago.

After they explained to me what it was I said “Hmmmm, that sounds a lot like a tip jar.” They were amused feigned amusement. Well, at least I have some experience earning tips!

The Case of the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber

At the risk of confirming my status in category one of Bowden's new Southern Baptist Blogger taxonomy:

We have a toy that we picked up at a carney some few years ago. It is a stick with a pig head on one end and a trigger at the other end. When you squeeze the trigger, the mouth moves and the pig “bites” with its mouth and opposable jaw. You can use it to snatch, or grab, small objects. Several years ago we began referring to it as a “Pig Headed Snatch Grabber” (wait, Googling...yep, we’ve coined a new term). Normally, it is a simple toy that each of the kids enjoy. But in Squealer's hands, it has become an instrument of torture.

In the Vue, all three of the kids are crammed in the back seat with Skeeter in his car seat between his big sisters. Oftentimes, while we are driving around, Squealer will take the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber and “bite” his sisters with it as they sit in the car. It doesn’t hurt them, but really bugs them a lot. It drives them crazy because they are held in place by their seatbelts and cannot escape. It always ends with one of the three weeping, but before it gets to that point it is actually quite amusing to watch. (Sometimes it ends when one of the girls successfully disarms (dispigs?) him and tosses the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber into the very back of the car). We usually stop them before they toss him into the back of the car.

Yesterday, Kadie took Skeeter to the orthodontist to get her braces checked. Skeeter has a fairly substantial crossbite and so has been burdened with braces at the tender age of eight. Kadie dropped her off at the door and went to park the car. Skeeter had gone inside, and they had escorted her on into the orthodontist's office. By the time Kadie arrived, Skeeter was concentrating on an explanation while the dental assistant was sitting there patiently listening:

Skeeter: “...and then, he’ll take the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber and use it to bite my arms and I try to get away, but he bites my leg. So I lean away from him as far as I can, but I can’t get away and he keeps doing it, and doing it, and doing it, and that really bothers me!!”

By this time, Kadie has no idea why Skeeter is telling this to the dental assistant who continues to listen patiently. As soon as Skeeter finishes her impassioned tale of woe there is silence for a few seconds. Then the dental assistant quietly says with a smile on her face:

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I should’ve been more specific. I mean is there any thing bothering you about the braces.”

Posted Without Comment

Spheres at Susan Song

We continue our look at history at Susan Song. The last few Wednesday evenings we have discussed the past and how it has affected (and still affects) the church. I have initiated the discussion by asking questions like:


What is your favorite time of year here at Susan Song?

What traditions are passed on in your family? What traditions are an important part of the church life?

What was the most exciting thing to happen during your time at Susan Song?

What was the most tragic thing to occur at Susan Song?

It was when I asked this final question that I received the most surprising responses. While most in the group associated the “most exciting thing” with some corporate achievement of the church, most associated the “most tragic thing” personally. People told me about the deaths of their spouses, children, and other key members of the church.

I think what surprised me was the simple reminder that people in our churches don’t always have strife and difficulties because of events at church. They are often directed and motivated by events that are beyond our control. I wonder how many church conflicts have their roots in the personal rather than the corporate spheres?

The Tragedy of Sin

Two couples in a church.

An alleged indiscretion.

Each maintains their innocence, but only one can be telling the truth. Kadie is torn as those involved are our friends. My cynical nature shields me somewhat from the pain. But the situation is another reminder (as if we needed it!) of the powerful sin nature that grips us all. Although I will readily admit the theological difficulties of a sinful nature, I have long been convinced of its truth. Sin infects each of us and we see its terrible effects every day.

But its tough when you see fellow church members engage in it and it destroys their relationships. Ultimately, that is what sin does. It separates us, not only from God, but from each other.

The Semester Has Started Again...

Can you tell? I will be back to semi-regular posting soon.

The Kiss

Conversation between Taran and Kadie after Scooter got back from Pre-Teen camp in the Summer of 2005:

T: “You know Kadie, Scooter just got back from camp and she went with that boy she’s been spending a lot of time with at church.”

K: “Yes. His name is Jacob”

T: “Right...Jacob. Umm well, I was wondering if they, you know, kissed while at camp?”

K: “What are you talking about? Why do you think that she kissed someone? Did you kiss someone when you were in youth camp?”

T: “Well, that’s really not the point. My question is ‘Do you think that Scooter kissed Jacob at camp? I mean, she’s only ten.”

K: “I don’t know, but why are you asking me? I wasn’t at camp. You should be asking Scooter.”

Silence….processing……processing…..processing

T: “Well maybe I will.”

Several hours later, Scooter and I are sitting on the floor of the living room, having wrapped up some cleaning. I seize the moment.

T: “Ummm…look, Scooter, I wanted to….”

S: “What’s the matter, Daddy? Is everything alright?”

T: “Oh nothing, nothing, I mean yes, everything’s fine. It’s just…” I stammer.

S: “Dad, Did I do something wrong? You look serious.”

T: Oh no, nothing wrong, or…well….you went to camp with your – uhhhh with Jacob and I was wondering…”

S: “What Daddy?”

T: “Well, I was wondering….Scooter, I was wondering if… if…you’ve ever kissed a boy?”

Silence….my heart pounds…..I am waiting for the dreaded answer.

As I finish my question, for just a second she looks confused. Then she giggles as she leans forward. And as she leans forward she kisses my nose and says “Only YOU Daddy!” and she stands up, laughs, and skips away.

Taking my heart with her.




I was too chicken to ask her again after this year’s camp.

A Pinch (3)

As I’ve mentioned the last few days, pinches are inevitable in families and in churches. I then described how I expereinced (and participated in) a pinch at Susan Song Baptist.

After my meeting with the two church leaders, I decided to share the covenant with the church as I had written it. When we got to the portion on the $300.00 for the Reflections meeting, I mentioned that these two men had pulled me aside and expressed concern over that point. I thanked them for expressing their concern and I wanted the church to know that these issues will be dealt with openly and not privately.

I then offered to pay the $300.00 myself if the church deems it appropriate at the end of the interim. I was motivated by the following thoughts:

1) Kicking the can down the road a bit will give the church and I time to develop a stronger sense of trust before we tackle this issue again. They have let a complete stranger into their lives and into their pulpit over the last few weeks. And a city boy at that!

2) There are some underlying concerns about money in the church. Apparently the pastors’ family and extended family (his sons, daughters-in-law and grandkids) attended the church with him. One member has shared with me that one Sunday they had thirty-five people present at church and seventeen were family of the pastor. So with all of these tithers now gone, there is some concern about the financial state of the church. I do think that in a couple of months I will have a better idea of how realistic these financial concerns are.

(I should note parenthetically that when I mentioned the possibility of paying for the Reflections myself, several church members shook their heads, as if to say that they would not allow me to do so.)

So on Wednesday night during our Transition Team meeting, we spent much of the hour discussing the Reflections portion of the Intentional Interim Ministry. One asked why they were responsible for paying for the Center for Congregational Health’s “quality control.” I didn’t point out that a business ALWAYS passes on quality control costs because I’m not completely comfortable with the business model they implicitly assumed or by Bartolo’s comparison of an IIM to a business consultant (I’m not saying that there are no similarities, but I want to keep a distinction between business and ministry, profit and prophet).

Others on the Transition Team felt that someone from outside couldn’t accurately evaluate their church, especially one who drove in from another state to meet with them.

So they accepted my compromise and I changed the wording of the covenant to:

The Church will commit to a time of Reflections at the end of the Intentional Interim Ministry that will cost $300.00. Susan Song Baptist Church will determine at the appropriate time whether the cost of this Reflections time will be paid by the church or by Taran.


Two areas of concern:

First, I can live without the $300.00. In fact, I am sure that any IIM at this church (due to their attendance and remoteness) will not make money. So my main concern is not money, but rather that I do not want the church to establish a pattern of paying ministers on the cheap. I am aware that the church will gauge expectations of its next pastor (for good or for ill) by their experience with me.

Second, I was concerned about the secretive way that two leaders took me aside and spoke on behalf of the church. That may be a sign that the church has dealt with conflict "behind closed doors" in the past. I made a point to mention my conversation with them publicly to make sure that the church deals with “pinches” in an open way.

This last Sunday I presented the revised covenant and we signed it as a group at the end of the worship service. It was a meaningful time as every member of the church, from 7 year olds to 77 year olds came up to the front and signed the agreement. One of the two men who took me aside the previous Sunday, presented me with a beautiful pen and pencil set that he had carved out of cherry wood. (Who knew you could carve a pen?!)

Any thoughts? I'd appreciate any suggestions or rebukes. As I've told you before, this is my first Intentional Interim, I anticipated that there would be some "pinches" along the way.

A Pinch (2)

I mentioned a few days ago about Dennis Burton and Wayne Oakes’s theory of “pinching”. Quite simply, a pinch is when expectations between a church and a pastor are not met. Two Sundays ago I presented the covenant agreement to Susan Song Baptist, with one significant difference. In the initial draft, Susan Song Baptist was going to pay the $300.00 for the Reflections meeting. (Essentially, the Reflections time is when a consultant comes from outside the church and evaluates their impressions of the Intentional Interim Ministry. It is a form of quality control that allows the Center for Congregational Health to tweak the ministry and/or the Intentional Interim pastor.) The $300.00 covers transportation and time for the consultant. But I made two mistakes in presenting it:

1) A key church leader was on vacation that Wednesday night I presented the covenant to the Transition Team. I had not yet identified him as a key leader and didn’t realize that his buy-in was necessary to getting the covenant approved.

2) I underestimated the congregation’s concern with money. As I have since learned, the previous pastor brought his extended family with him to church. And most of them tithed. So in addition to losing the pastor, there is a high level of anxiety in the church about finances. So $300.00 was looking like a huge sum to them. (Their average Sunday giving is right about $300.00).

3) I should've given more time for the church to process the document. Although we had discussed it, they had the covenant in writing for only one week before they were set to vote on it.

So last Sunday, right before the service was set to begin, I heard those fateful words that strike frustration into the heart of every pastor, interim or not, “Brother Taran, may we have a word with you?” The leader who was absent, as well as one who was present at the meeting, took me aside and they expressed their concerns. They thought that $300.00 was a lot of money and didn’t fully understand the role of the Reflections consultant. They told me that they would not sign the covenant as it now read.

Ouch.

Getting pinched is uncomfortable, especially right before the service!

A Tragedy

As Kevin has already noted, the beautiful Trinity Cathedral in St. Petersburg, Russia sustained substantial fire damage today.

I had the privilege of traveling to Russia two times many, many years ago. The first time was in 1991 and the city's name was Leningrad. I traveled with a group of BSU students (known today as BCM) to do cosntruction work in local churches. Although we did not work in the Trinity Cathedral, we passed it every day and enjoyed an incredible tour of its beautiful domes.

The second time I went was in 1994 when Southwestern Seminary took a group of students there to lead worship services and conduct revivals around the city. Trinity Cathedral was still a gorgeous part of the city.

No more (although they do plan to rebuild).

A Pinch

Dennis Burton and Wayne Oakes helpfully describe what happens in a church where expectations are not met. According to their thesis, church families--indeed, ALL families--have certain expectations. Hopefully, these expectations are stated but more often than not, these expectations are not ever expressed. So we each carry around these expectations that the other people in our families (or our churches) must meet.

But we never tell them what they are.

Many of us are familiar with this idea from marriage. An example: An early conflict in my marriage with Kadie revolved around how we would conduct our early morning routine. I had grown accustomed to reading the paper every morning while I was in college. I enjoyed waking up early, eating cereal and sitting on the kitchen floor with the paper spread out before me. I would slowly and methodically read it all from A1 to F18 and enjoy every moment of it.

Kadie had grown up spending quality time together with her family every morning. She often looked forward to eating breakfast together as a family. So her (unstated) expectation was that we would eat our breakfast, gaze into one another’s eyes and talk (I guess that’s what she thought) throughout the breakfast hour. My expectation was that I would find a spot on the floor, spread the paper out and eat breakfast while tuning the rest of the world out for an hour or so.

Our expectations were certain not to be met.

Burton and Oakes call a broken expectation a “pinch”. Pinches aren’t fatal, but they are inevitable. Unfortunately they are often one sided. By that I mean that it is possible for only one person to feel pinched in a situation. In fact, that’s exactly what happened early in our marriage.

The first few days of our post-honeymoon time together, I got up as usual and read the paper while Kadie fixed a nice breakfast. I then ate the breakfast while I read the paper (yes, I’m an idiot, I know). Her feelings were hurt (pinched) and I had no idea that there was even a problem until later. She was pinched while I was oblivious.

It was only after we clearly expressed our expectations to one another that we could reach a mutual accommodation.

The irony is, fifteen years later, our mornings are so helter-skelter that we never take time to eat breakfast together.

And we haven’t had a newspaper subscription in years ;)

Tomorrow: My first pinch at Susan Song.

Intentional Interim Covenant

One unique element of the Intentional Interim Ministry is the requirement of a covenant between the Intentional Interim Minister and the church. This covenant articulates the expectations of both pastor and church. I think that it is important to clearly express exactly what the expectations are for both the Intentional Interim Minister and the congregation. When expectations are clearly delineated, it prevents a multitude of problems later.

The congregation of Susan Song Baptist and I recently worked through the following covenant. We will devote a portion of this week's Sunday morning service to signing this document.

INTENTIONAL INTERIM MINISTRY COVENANT
Between Susan Song Baptist Church and Taran
August 27, 2006

Part I:This covenant commits Taran and Susan Song Baptist Church as partners together for the Intentional Interim Ministry for a period of six months.

Part II: Taran’s responsibilities:

*Taran will be responsible for leading the ongoing ministry of Susan Song Baptist Church. Duties are to include:

*The Sunday morning preaching and worship leadership
*Wednesday Evening Bible study
*Preparation time for Sunday morning and Wednesday Evening
*Weekly Transition Team meeting and preparation
*Other--pastoral care, counseling, weddings, funerals, as Taran’s schedule allows.

Goals of Interim Pastor:
*Taran will consult with the Transition Team to lead the church through the Five Developmental Tasks of the Intentional Interim Ministry. These tasks are:
History, Identity, Leadership and Decision Making, Denominational Connection, and Preparation for New Leadership

*Taran will work to maintain the momentum and ministries of the church
*Taran will lead in the spiritual direction of the church


Part III:Details of the Susan Song Baptist Church’s responsibilities:
*The Congregation of Susan Song Baptist Church commits to provide $XX.XX salary per week for the Sunday morning and Wednesday evening services.

*In addition, other travel associated with normal pastoral responsibilities will be reimbursed at the current government mileage rate.

*The Church will commit to a time of Reflections at the end of the Intentional Interim Ministry that will cost $300.00. Susan Song Baptist Church will determine at the appropriate time whether the cost of this Reflections time will be paid by the church or by Taran.

*The congregation will participate in the Intentional Interim Ministry though prayer, attendance, financial support, and cooperation.

Part IV:Additional information:
*Taran is not a candidate for the role of permanent pastor
*This covenant may be extended by mutual agreement between Susan Song Baptist Church and Taran.
*This covenant may be cancelled by either party with two week’s notice.
*The Intentional Interim Minister will report directly to the Transition Team which will make all recommendations concerning his employment.


Please note any questions or suggestions that you may have. This is my first covenant to draw up and would surely benefit from additional counsel.

Thanks in advance!