Susan Song Reception

Last night we had a wonderful reception at Susan Song. Since they were concerned about several folks being out over the Memorial Day Weekend, they wanted to have it after their Wednesday night service. Kadie and the kids went with me. When I told the kids that we were all going out to the church because they were having a celebration, Scooter said “Are they throwing a celebration because you are leaving??”

I started to choke up a little as we pulled into the parking lot. On the sign in front of the church they wrote “Good-bye Bro. Taran, We’ll Miss You”. I shared a brief devotional with them and then we feasted on great fried chicken (natch), home grown black eyed peas, squash, and mashed potatoes.

After we finished eating they presented a beautiful framed picture with a poem about the “Pastor”. Mrs. Jones read a poem that was hilarious and had a separate verse about each of the regular attenders. I’ll post it in the next day or two. They also were very proud of the fact that they were the first Intentional Interim I have performed and presented me with the framed Church Covenant which they had each signed.

A great evening.

A Last Note

Well the final verses of Susan Song are coming to an end.

I have given them May 27th as my final Sunday. Three weeks ago I gave them six weeks notice. I gave them that date mostly to jump-start the pastoral search process. They had settled into a level of comfort with me as interim that I believe prevented them from seriously looking for a pastor.

I thought about delaying my departure, because they are probably another four weeks away from calling a pastor. But I decided to remain firm in my deadline for two reasons.

First, I think it is important to maintain my word to them. I told them a termination date, and I need to stick to that date for the sake of consistency.

Second, I have heard through the ministerial grapevine that our home pastor is going in view of a call on the May 20th to another church. To my knowledge, he has not shared this information with anyone at our church.

Due to the fact that our church governance has been pretty centralized in our pastor, I have some concern about how the church will react. I really want to be there to lend my thoughts/experiences.

When finals end this week and grades are turned in I will post my final report on Susan Song.

Easter Weekend

We had a busy and chilly Easter weekend. On Saturday morning the kids went Easter egg hunting (amid snow flurries) at our home church. Squealer remarked at one point that it felt like Halloween (a feeling encouraged, no doubt, by our decision to recycle his frog basket from Halloween into an “Easter” basket).

The first thing we do on Easter morning is hold a lengthy Easter egg scavenger hunt for the kids. Kadie and I compose a series of clues which direct the kids throughout the house. They then get to read each clue and figure out where the next egg is located.

After finding all the eggs, and their three Easter baskets (hidden in the dryer) we had breakfast at our home church before I went out to Susan Song. Squealer had the line of the morning after he received his first punishment of the day. (I like to think that he was getting his time-out right about the same time Mary Magdalane would’ve been arriving at the empty tomb).

After his time-out (for throwing his Easter breakfast across the gym at church) I told him that he was being disobedient. I explained to him the importance of being obedient to his Dad. He responded (I kid you not) “Daddy, I like to be obedient, but I don’t want to be obedient.” A great line, which I promptly stole for my sermon at Susan Song.

At Susan Song we had over twice our normal attendance, filling the pews at 32 people (I told them we were going to have to go to two services next Sunday). I preached the Philippian Christ Hymn in 2:5-11. Following the sermon we held the Lord’s Supper. I read Psalm 22 (then we shared the bread) then Psalm 23 (then we shared the juice) followed by Psalm 24. We then placed red and white carnations on a cross and it was beautiful.

This afternoon we celebrated the Easter tradition by dining on roast and eating scads of chocolate candy. In the evening, we watched the wonderful film The Miracle Maker (see trailer here). It is to my mind, without a doubt, the best adaptation of the life of Christ to film. It also happens to be claymation. Squealer, finding the life of our blessed Lord a bit slow, instead watched the theologically more subtle Madagascar.

All in all, a wonderful Easter weekend.

Lessons From Mrs. Mozelle

As the months at Susan song have moved along, I began to hear about Mrs. Mozelle’s life experiences. I’ve always been touched by her great affection for Squealer. She always cackled loudest during the tales (especially the two cheese tales) about his energetic little life. It was only later that I learned her own son was killed in a car accident at the age of eighteen. When prompted, she speaks of him with powerful, maternal tones. She loved him dearly and his death marks her life to this day, when he would likely have had several children of his own.

In an almost unbelievable occurrence, Mozelle’s first husband died the following week of a heart attack. They were married twenty-two years. She found him in their bedroom shortly after his heart quit. On one occasion she shared with me how shocking an experience that was, to walk in and see the love of your life lying on the floor. I do not see how a soul could handle that shock. But she did. Her faith in God and in His ultimate goodness wavered, but never receded.

In fact, a few years later the Lord brought a wonderful man into her life and she married once again. Harold was a deacon at Susan Song and they had a wonderful time together. They had no children, but spent time traveling and working their little farm. After twelve years of marriage, Harold developed Alzheimers and began his long, slow decline. Life got very hard for Mozelle as she cared for someone who had been so strong and energetic. After three long years Harold passed away.

So after losing two husbands and one son, I am amazed at her faithfulness to God. I haven’t walked that road of pain and loss and find myself wondering how faithful I would be. I pray I never find out.

Two months ago, in her mid-seventies, Mozelle made the brave decision to marry again. After Harold’s death, she has spent over a decade single and happy. But she met Sonny last year and he pursued her with a suitor’s passion that is no respecter of age. Sonny refused to take no for an answer and wooed her for months. He fought across Europe during the second World War and loves a challenge. They were married last month and Brother Jones came back and did the service. Susan Song was packed and all in attendance agreed that they had never seen a finer wedding.

Mozelle expresses a childlike faith, but not a naïve one. She has not led a sheltered life, hidden away from the pains of this world. Rather her faith is the faith of one who has plumbed the depths of suffering and despair and has found God faithful even there. More than anyone else I know, Mozelle is aware of the pain that always accompanies love. And yet she decides to love and to commit once again.

And so at the send of each Sunday School lesson I hold up my finger and pledge to “let my little light shine” while completely aware that my light is all too often the size of a small Bic lighter running low on fuel.

But Mozelle’s light is like that of a city on a hill that cannot be hidden.

Mrs. Mozelle

Mozelle was the first person from Susan Song that I spoke with last summer. She has a delightful laugh and conveys an energy level beyond her seventy-five years. After we met, I learned that she teaches the Adult (which is to say only) Sunday School class. Since I want the church to continue to do as much as it has during the interim time, I declined the invitation to teach Sunday school and instead sit on the back row where I can observe and (very occasionally) comment.

Her classes are fairly predictable. They are full of bubblyness, shrill cackles of laughter and frequent Hallelujahs offered up with the constant refrain “Isn’t God so good?!” She reminds me at times of a Muppet, constantly smiling and throwing her head back in a boisterous laugh. She follows a rote teaching pattern, drawn from a careful study of the SBC adult Sunday School literature. (Last quarter, the wrong series of literature was ordered and she expressed such concern that we quickly ordered the traditional kind). Mozelle ends every Sunday School the same way. Each class member holds their index fingers aloft while she says “Let your…” and the class shouts back “little light shine.”

It is, at times, more than I can stand.

“There’s the Preacherman!!!!” she shouts whenever I arrive at Susan Song. Her outlook is soooo rosy and sooo saccharine, that I thought I could never relate to her. Surely someone who has only led a sheltered life could be that overly joyful all the time, right?

But I was wrong. Tomorrow, what I learned from Mrs. Mozelle.

A New One

I was approached this morning after church by an older (early sixties) couple. The gentleman asked me if I would marry him and his girlfriend, but not register their marriage with the courthouse. She is in her early sixties and is drawing social security due to the death of her husband a few years ago. If she marries, those checks stop.

He wants to get married so he can “be with her” (their words) and she wants to marry, but can’t live without her husband’s social security. For some reason their combined incomes won’t offset the loss of the government’s check.

They want to get married “in the Lord’s eyes” but not in Uncle Sam’s.

I told them that I wouldn’t marry them without registering the marriage at the courthouse. I suggested to her that she needed to prioritize her decisions and ultimately decide whether she loves him more than her Social Security check. If not, they shouldn’t get married.

Have any of you heard of this “Married in the Lord’s eyes” line?

The Question

The comments are offered more and more frequently. They usually ran something like this: “Brother Taran, people here sure will be sad when you leave.” or “We are enjoying this interim time, we could do this forever!” Another comment, by a church leader to a group before the Church service “Well, we may have found our new preacher already!”

In various forms, the question boils down to this:

“Why don’t you just stay and be our pastor?”

I had been warned about this possibility ever since I’ve started looking into interim ministry (intentional or otherwise). You don’t have to talk to an older interim pastor very long to hear about search committees who drag their feet in order to hang onto an interim they like.

My trainer in the intentional interim class put it memorably. He said:

“At some point, a sweet little old blue-haired lady is going to come to you and say ‘You are so nice and have been so helpful to us…you should just stay here and be our pastor.’”

Then he advised:

“Don’t take it personally!”

It seems that this request is par for the interim course. For the church, the familiar is safer than the unknown. As long as the interim exhibits no visible signs of being an axe-murderer, they are deemed acceptable.

Plus, in the church as well as in normal life, endings are often emotionally challenging. In most every interim situation, the church has recently gone through a difficult departing, so why go through that again? This is especially true when Susan Song is dealing with some particular feelings of abandonment regarding how their previous pastor left. I think it is not so much the particular interim pastor that churches want to hold onto, but it is more the feeling of normalcy and stability that a familiar face provides.

So how to help that situation? I’m sure that it can ever be completely avoided. But here are some things that I’ve done:

***The covenant helps a lot. It explicitly states (in section IV) that I will not be considered for the position of pastor. (Perhaps next time I will move it up to the first section instead of the fourth). This clause provides me with a helpful reply and gives me some cover simply to tell them that I cannot ethically accept the pastorate.

***I have consistently used language that looks to the future when I am not here. E.g. “Now if this happens after your new pastor gets here, here is what I would suggest…”

***I state clearly (and repeatedly) that I am not called to be a traditional pastor. This response has the additional advantage of also being true.

***When in doubt, I talk about it. We go through the goals of the intentional interim and I try to get the congregation back on the particular task at hand. Focusing on the task can help them avoid distractions.


From my side, the 45 minute drives to the church and the time away from my own family (who continue to go to our home church) serves to keep my mind focused as well.

Susan Song's Identity

An update from Susan Song

{Note: In the previous entry I referred to Mr. Ginger’s verbosity. He knows me well enough to realize that I meant that in an affectionate way. In fact, I only read his and Bowden’s comments which confirmed my decision to talk to my pastor. I actually suspect that one reason the comments grew smaller over time is because the main points had already been made. Besides, I have been chided on this very blog for my own verbosity.}

We have recently completed the identity portion of the intentional interim process. We divided identity into two parts, church and individual. For church identity we discussed how the church looks to visitors and how we can make the building more attractive and welcoming (a process that will involve power sprayers at some point). For individual identity I gave them a spiritual gift inventory from Lifeway (HT: Bowden) and we went though the various spiritual gifts in the church.

Then we listed and evaluated every ministry and activity that the church is engaged in. This exercise was helpful in determining which ministries/activities were alive and well and which ones we needed to euthanize.

The biggest discussion we had was over the Church’s motto (festooned over the Church sign) which reads “The Little Church with a Big Heart.” I suggested that defines them in a way that might not best. They responded that they like it and it expresses much of what they are proud of in their church. I told them to think about how it would look to a visitor, and encouraged them to revisit the issue later. It is not a battle I’m going to win.

(Although in fairness, it is probably not one I should win. I’m in a great position to tell them how things look to a new visitor, and I expressed to them my reservations, but I suspect the sign will remain long after I’m gone.)

We are now working on denominational connections. I have had a sermon series on Baptist identity (B is for Biblical Authority, A is for Autonomy of the local church, etc) and in the evenings we are going over the Baptist Faith and Message(s). We are looking at both the 2000 and the 1963 and discussing the differences between them. That should take us a few more weeks.

We will also spend a couple of Wednesday evenings looking at our state convention and the Cooperative Program.


This last week, I also had to deal with the question most every intentional interim is asked at some point in the process…

The Service (II)

“I am not absolutely certain that God called me to leave Susan Song” began Brother Jones. I was shocked to hear this, but no one else had much of a reaction. He continued “…but looking back on it, I am sure that it was the best for me and for the church.” The text of his sermon was Acts 21 when Paul is saying goodbye to his friends shortly before his arrest. His message was very conversational and Brother Jones mentioned several people by name. Many tears were shed.

He talked about the (much needed) new siding they had put on the church, and about the bright sign that the church placed in the front (a sign that generates much pride in the church and community). These events marked the physical evidences from his ministry. Brother Jones also spent time recounting the emotional and spiritual legacies he leaves behind. He talked a bit about walking through the valley of the shadow with several families who lost loved ones. In short, his message was perfect for the occasion.

He concluded by simply looking at me and saying “Brother Taran, what do I do now?”I had Brother Jones and his wife stand at the front of the sanctuary while the church gathered around them and prayed for them. I then offered a benediction and a blessing on the meal following the service. We then retired to the fellowship hall and feasted on a Susan Song potluck meal. During the meal we were surrounded by posters full of pictures of the weddings, baptisms and visits that he had performed while at Susan Song. In the corner there was a video of a musical the church had performed while he was pastor. So as we dined on potluck brisket and potatoes and mac and cheese, we were surrounded by eight years of ministry. At the end of the afternoon, Rev. Jones thanked me for convincing him to come back. Several church members remarked on how wonderful the day’s events had been.

It was a very, very gratifying day.

The Service (I)

The day of the service, there was an unusual edge of excitement. When I arrived, Brother Jones was already there. It is an odd feeling when there is a pastor and a former pastor present at the same service. We each have our own ritual of meeting folks and shaking hands at the beginning of the service. I remember once at Lone Oak Baptist that a former pastor came back to preach. It was an odd feeling right before the service as the two of us worked the room.

A lot of new faces came out for Brother Jones' return. Our normal congregation of a dozen swelled up to thirty or more as his large, extended family descended on the church. There were several members present whom I had never seen. Brother Jones' two sons were there with their wives and kids.

The service was designed to reflect on the work that God did through brother Jones during his time at Susan Song Baptist. I tried to design the service so that it would be a worship service and for us to keep our focus on what the Lord did over the last eight years, not on what Jones did. This was an important distinction that I think the church generally did a good job keeping.

I offered the welcome and thanked Jones and his family for coming. I also read from Ecclesiastes 3 “For every thing there is a season” to introduce the idea of seasons of life for congregations. I thanked Smith for his time of service and invoked the Lord to be present in the service. Then I got out of the way and sat on the back row.

We followed our traditional hymns, but interspersed two testimonies in the service. One was from Mrs. Carpenter whose husband passed away after a lengthy illness. She shared with the congregation how dedicated Bro. Jones was during this difficult time in her life. She talked about how much time he spent at the hospital and how he prayed often with her during this difficult time in her life.

We then sang a few more hymns and Mrs. Landry stood up and shared how encouraging Brother Jones’ family had been over the previous eight years. Plus Brother Jones had married her daughter and her son-in-law. (Which led to the typical SBC humor “Thank you brother Jones for marrying my daughter. Tee hee hee!”)

After Mrs. Carpenter, I prepared to sing the next hymn. But from my perch on the back row, I suddenly saw Mrs. Nelson stand up and say “I know that I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but I really need to share what is on my heart.” She then shared how Brother Jones stopped her after a church service and asked if he could pray with her. “If you would not have stopped me, I never would’ve come back to this church.”

Another seven or eight people stood and shared how much Brother Jones meant to them as the Spirit moved. Many wept as they shared with him how much he meant to them. The time of testimony was holy and cathartic at the same time. Following this tremendously encouraging time was the sermon. All of the love and emotion expressed during the testimonies led to a tremendous sense of expectation when brother Jones reached the pulpit.

So I almost fell out of my pew when the first words out of his mouth were “I am not completely sure that God called me to leave Susan Song as Pastor…”

Eating Pizza (II)

After discussing his ministry history, Brother Jones abruptly brought up the reason for our lunch. “What do you want from me?” he said.

I didn’t expect that question, but tried to recover quickly. “I would like you and your family to come back to the church and let us have a time together to celebrate the ministry that God has done through you over the last eight years at Susan Song.”

“Well, the truth is I don’t really need that.” he responded. “I mean, that church is a good church and although I was there for eight years I don’t need any kind of special ceremony.”

I thought for a moment.

“Brother Jones,” I said carefully “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. But I do want you to understand that my interest is not primarily in what you do or do not need. I am a lot more concerned about the church. And they need closure. Whether you need this or not is irrelevent.”

I wondered how he would take this.

“The problem was. I didn’t know how to leave. So when I reached my decision, I just left.” he said quietly. “I mean, what point is there in staying at a church any longer after you decide to go? ” I wasn’t sure if this question was rhetorical or not, so I nodded and took another bite of pepperoni pizza.

“So what exactly do I need to do?” he asked, with some resignation.

I replied “All I want you to do is to come back for a service. Preach the message, and let us have a meal with you and your family afterwards. It will be a time of celebration as you let the church love on you and your family a little bit.”

He chewed this over in his mind as he chewed the cheese pizza in his hand.

I tried another tactic. “Do you realize that Mrs. Bernice and David and Sharon weren’t even there the Wednesday night you resigned? The feel that they really didn’t get to say good-bye because they missed that one Wednesday night.”

Pause.

“Plus you just told me that as a young man you swore to God that if anyone ever asked you to preach that you would do so.”

After I said this last line, great gusts of laughter same rumbling out of his throat. “Brother Taran, right after I told you that, I thought I’d regret it. And I sure do!” he laughed.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll come and preach to the church. We can stay around and eat afterwards. That’s something we really love to do anyways” he said as he patted his belly.

But then he turned serious. His eyes moistened as he carefully said “But the truth is, this church walked with us during some difficult days when my mother died. They held me up while my wife was sick for those seven months. They encouraged me and loved on me more than you can imagine. Brother Taran, the truth is they ministered to me, far more than I ever ministered to them. The have loved me and my family for years and have kept me going through some very, very difficult times.”

I paused for a moment, realizing that we were on holy ground as we sat in the non-smoking section.

I said simply “They really need to hear you say that.”

And he nodded.

Eating Pizza (I)

As I entered the hole-in-the-wall pizzeria, I immediately spotted Brother Jones, even though we’d never met. He was big, a Mack truck of a man. I had been told that he was huge—not fat, but big. But I was immediately glad that I was only paying for his buffet. His head was shaved and we locked eyes immediately as I walked in the room, pushing past the smoking section and over to him.

“Brother Taran” he said. I nodded and he continued “I wondered how I would recognize you.” He laughed nervously. We shook hands and immediately headed for the buffet, I had a diet coke with my pizza, while he had a regular. We sat down, prayed, and then began to talk.

"I'm as nervous as a cat" he said absently.

Without my prompting, he shared with me the more recent struggles that he and his wife have had. They have taken in numerous foster kids, especially teenagers and his voice wavered as he mentioned how much pain some of these kids have been through. He told me about one pair of sisters who were with them whose house had been in such a state of filth that even I had read about it in the local paper. His heart was even bigger than his body.

I asked him to tell me about his call to the ministry. He said he felt called at the age of thirty-five. He grew up in a rural town outside the city and attended country churches his whole life. While taking on greater responsibilities in the various churches he was a member of, he struggled with learning the “accepted way” of Baptist life. For example, he attended one ordination service and the minister conducting the service asked the candidate about the King James Version of the Bible. The candidate responded that the KJV was the only acceptable translation and that all the other versions were “of the devil.” Brother Jones then quietly hid his own New International Version from sight.

“God told me” he said “that if ever a man came and asked me to preach, I’d say ‘Yes!’ Several years later I was asked to preach at a small, country church. I pastored there for two hard years.”

He then shared with me his eight years of ministry at Susan Song. It was his second church, but by far his longest pastorate. It had been an exciting, and a difficult time. It started off well. They fixed up the church grounds and began to work on the outside of the church. They added a new sign that he bought in an auction for $100.00. They fixed it up for $300.00 and a church member ran the electrical line to the sign. It is the biggest sign in town and lights up the country night every evening. Pride was evident in his voice when he described the early years there.

Finishing History

We've been wrapping up the church history at Susan Song lately.

I’ve had a hard time tracking down the previous pastor of Susan Song. As I’ve mentioned before, Brother Jones left rather suddenly. He showed up on a Wednesday evening for prayer meeting and said “Tonight is my last night as your pastor.” And walked out the door.

The impact on the church was substantial. They wondered the real reason why he left. People in the community stopped them in the grocery store and asked “What did ya’ll do to run him off?” The hardest part for the church members was to say “I don’t know what we did” and to wonder the answer to that question as well.

So after arriving I decided to track Brother Jones down and find out his thoughts on the church. I also wanted to invite him back for a celebration of his ministry that would provide closure for his time with the church. But I was warned by some of the church members that “He won’t talk to you and certainly won’t come back here!”

So I got his phone number and began to call him and leave messages with his wife. I tried unsuccessfully for a period of several months (August through October) to get in touch with him. I was unsuccessful. But then my secretary entered into the picture.

About ten years ago she was in his Sunday School class at another church. So she knew him and knew about my intentional interim ministry at his church. She also had not seen him for eight years. Around a month ago, she and her family went to breakfast at McDonald’s and ran into him.

After initial greetings, he mentioned that he had recently resigned as pastor at Susan Song after an eight year ministry. She said “I know, and do you want to know how I knew that? It’s because my boss is the intentional interim pastor there. And he’s been trying to talk to you for weeks.”

Brother Jones said “Oh…”

He then said something along the lines of “I guess if I ran into you after ten years, maybe God wants me to do something.

And the next time I called Brother Jones he answered the phone and we set up a meeting.

We would, as he said, “Break pizza together.”

Susan Song Update

The intentional interim process continues at Susan Song Baptist. The church had never planned out a calendar of upcoming events before, so we began that process and it has taken us a few weeks. When we finish the year (next Wednesday) I’ll ask them to look over the calendar and see how many events they have planned that do not concern fellowship. I think that it will be a good tool to help them see their identity.

Last weekend we held a community-wide rummage sale in order to pay the insurance for the church (which runs around $1,500.00 a year). We raised $900 which was a great start. I worked the sale and enjoyed getting to see the people from the church in their natural habitat, away from the Sunday morning service.

I am still trying to reach the former pastor for lunch. He has not been returning my phone calls although I found out form a mutual friend that he has received them. I will try one more time and then write him a letter. I think that it will be good for the church if he returns to the church and lets us celebrate his ministry. Those who know him say that he has a great sense of anxiety.

I hope that he overcomes it!

Letting Go

One of the difficulties I have encountered in my short time (2 months) as the Intentional Interim (II) of Susan Song is the extent to which I should provide direction and make decisions. Due to my background as a former pastor, I tend to diagnose the problem and to make decisions pretty quickly. But my task as the II is to remind the church that they are a distinct community of faith that need not depend upon their pastor for their sole sense of identity and leadership. So I am encouraging them to move in a (productive) direction in which they feel led.

In churches that come from a pastor led model, there can be a hesitation for leadership. The pastor has made all of the decisions, so they naturally look to me to provide guidance. One early challenge has been to give them space and an opportunity to discuss options and possibilities.

I am convinced that God is working in this process. Just as important (if not moreso) they are convinced that God is working in their midst, obviously a tremendous source of comfort for any community of faith.

Blessings in a Jar

I attended my first business meeting at Susan Song last Wednesday. It was conducted in the same, informal way that so many are in smaller churches across the convention. During the meeting, one member made a motion that “We use the blessings jar for the $300.00” and then she turned and grinned at me. I had no idea what she was talking about.

But apparently Susan Song has a glass vase that they keep on the Lord’s Supper Table (?!) in front of the pulpit. From week to week, as people feel led, they place money in the vase and it grows over time. What the church has voted to do is use the money to pay for the reflections time at the end of the interim. I thought that was a very appropriate solution that should resolve our pinch from a few weeks ago.

After they explained to me what it was I said “Hmmmm, that sounds a lot like a tip jar.” They were amused feigned amusement. Well, at least I have some experience earning tips!

Spheres at Susan Song

We continue our look at history at Susan Song. The last few Wednesday evenings we have discussed the past and how it has affected (and still affects) the church. I have initiated the discussion by asking questions like:


What is your favorite time of year here at Susan Song?

What traditions are passed on in your family? What traditions are an important part of the church life?

What was the most exciting thing to happen during your time at Susan Song?

What was the most tragic thing to occur at Susan Song?

It was when I asked this final question that I received the most surprising responses. While most in the group associated the “most exciting thing” with some corporate achievement of the church, most associated the “most tragic thing” personally. People told me about the deaths of their spouses, children, and other key members of the church.

I think what surprised me was the simple reminder that people in our churches don’t always have strife and difficulties because of events at church. They are often directed and motivated by events that are beyond our control. I wonder how many church conflicts have their roots in the personal rather than the corporate spheres?

A Pinch (3)

As I’ve mentioned the last few days, pinches are inevitable in families and in churches. I then described how I expereinced (and participated in) a pinch at Susan Song Baptist.

After my meeting with the two church leaders, I decided to share the covenant with the church as I had written it. When we got to the portion on the $300.00 for the Reflections meeting, I mentioned that these two men had pulled me aside and expressed concern over that point. I thanked them for expressing their concern and I wanted the church to know that these issues will be dealt with openly and not privately.

I then offered to pay the $300.00 myself if the church deems it appropriate at the end of the interim. I was motivated by the following thoughts:

1) Kicking the can down the road a bit will give the church and I time to develop a stronger sense of trust before we tackle this issue again. They have let a complete stranger into their lives and into their pulpit over the last few weeks. And a city boy at that!

2) There are some underlying concerns about money in the church. Apparently the pastors’ family and extended family (his sons, daughters-in-law and grandkids) attended the church with him. One member has shared with me that one Sunday they had thirty-five people present at church and seventeen were family of the pastor. So with all of these tithers now gone, there is some concern about the financial state of the church. I do think that in a couple of months I will have a better idea of how realistic these financial concerns are.

(I should note parenthetically that when I mentioned the possibility of paying for the Reflections myself, several church members shook their heads, as if to say that they would not allow me to do so.)

So on Wednesday night during our Transition Team meeting, we spent much of the hour discussing the Reflections portion of the Intentional Interim Ministry. One asked why they were responsible for paying for the Center for Congregational Health’s “quality control.” I didn’t point out that a business ALWAYS passes on quality control costs because I’m not completely comfortable with the business model they implicitly assumed or by Bartolo’s comparison of an IIM to a business consultant (I’m not saying that there are no similarities, but I want to keep a distinction between business and ministry, profit and prophet).

Others on the Transition Team felt that someone from outside couldn’t accurately evaluate their church, especially one who drove in from another state to meet with them.

So they accepted my compromise and I changed the wording of the covenant to:

The Church will commit to a time of Reflections at the end of the Intentional Interim Ministry that will cost $300.00. Susan Song Baptist Church will determine at the appropriate time whether the cost of this Reflections time will be paid by the church or by Taran.


Two areas of concern:

First, I can live without the $300.00. In fact, I am sure that any IIM at this church (due to their attendance and remoteness) will not make money. So my main concern is not money, but rather that I do not want the church to establish a pattern of paying ministers on the cheap. I am aware that the church will gauge expectations of its next pastor (for good or for ill) by their experience with me.

Second, I was concerned about the secretive way that two leaders took me aside and spoke on behalf of the church. That may be a sign that the church has dealt with conflict "behind closed doors" in the past. I made a point to mention my conversation with them publicly to make sure that the church deals with “pinches” in an open way.

This last Sunday I presented the revised covenant and we signed it as a group at the end of the worship service. It was a meaningful time as every member of the church, from 7 year olds to 77 year olds came up to the front and signed the agreement. One of the two men who took me aside the previous Sunday, presented me with a beautiful pen and pencil set that he had carved out of cherry wood. (Who knew you could carve a pen?!)

Any thoughts? I'd appreciate any suggestions or rebukes. As I've told you before, this is my first Intentional Interim, I anticipated that there would be some "pinches" along the way.

A Pinch (2)

I mentioned a few days ago about Dennis Burton and Wayne Oakes’s theory of “pinching”. Quite simply, a pinch is when expectations between a church and a pastor are not met. Two Sundays ago I presented the covenant agreement to Susan Song Baptist, with one significant difference. In the initial draft, Susan Song Baptist was going to pay the $300.00 for the Reflections meeting. (Essentially, the Reflections time is when a consultant comes from outside the church and evaluates their impressions of the Intentional Interim Ministry. It is a form of quality control that allows the Center for Congregational Health to tweak the ministry and/or the Intentional Interim pastor.) The $300.00 covers transportation and time for the consultant. But I made two mistakes in presenting it:

1) A key church leader was on vacation that Wednesday night I presented the covenant to the Transition Team. I had not yet identified him as a key leader and didn’t realize that his buy-in was necessary to getting the covenant approved.

2) I underestimated the congregation’s concern with money. As I have since learned, the previous pastor brought his extended family with him to church. And most of them tithed. So in addition to losing the pastor, there is a high level of anxiety in the church about finances. So $300.00 was looking like a huge sum to them. (Their average Sunday giving is right about $300.00).

3) I should've given more time for the church to process the document. Although we had discussed it, they had the covenant in writing for only one week before they were set to vote on it.

So last Sunday, right before the service was set to begin, I heard those fateful words that strike frustration into the heart of every pastor, interim or not, “Brother Taran, may we have a word with you?” The leader who was absent, as well as one who was present at the meeting, took me aside and they expressed their concerns. They thought that $300.00 was a lot of money and didn’t fully understand the role of the Reflections consultant. They told me that they would not sign the covenant as it now read.

Ouch.

Getting pinched is uncomfortable, especially right before the service!

A Pinch

Dennis Burton and Wayne Oakes helpfully describe what happens in a church where expectations are not met. According to their thesis, church families--indeed, ALL families--have certain expectations. Hopefully, these expectations are stated but more often than not, these expectations are not ever expressed. So we each carry around these expectations that the other people in our families (or our churches) must meet.

But we never tell them what they are.

Many of us are familiar with this idea from marriage. An example: An early conflict in my marriage with Kadie revolved around how we would conduct our early morning routine. I had grown accustomed to reading the paper every morning while I was in college. I enjoyed waking up early, eating cereal and sitting on the kitchen floor with the paper spread out before me. I would slowly and methodically read it all from A1 to F18 and enjoy every moment of it.

Kadie had grown up spending quality time together with her family every morning. She often looked forward to eating breakfast together as a family. So her (unstated) expectation was that we would eat our breakfast, gaze into one another’s eyes and talk (I guess that’s what she thought) throughout the breakfast hour. My expectation was that I would find a spot on the floor, spread the paper out and eat breakfast while tuning the rest of the world out for an hour or so.

Our expectations were certain not to be met.

Burton and Oakes call a broken expectation a “pinch”. Pinches aren’t fatal, but they are inevitable. Unfortunately they are often one sided. By that I mean that it is possible for only one person to feel pinched in a situation. In fact, that’s exactly what happened early in our marriage.

The first few days of our post-honeymoon time together, I got up as usual and read the paper while Kadie fixed a nice breakfast. I then ate the breakfast while I read the paper (yes, I’m an idiot, I know). Her feelings were hurt (pinched) and I had no idea that there was even a problem until later. She was pinched while I was oblivious.

It was only after we clearly expressed our expectations to one another that we could reach a mutual accommodation.

The irony is, fifteen years later, our mornings are so helter-skelter that we never take time to eat breakfast together.

And we haven’t had a newspaper subscription in years ;)

Tomorrow: My first pinch at Susan Song.