Developmental Task #4

The fourth developmental task that the church engages during the Intentional Interim time is its Identity. Identity is a general term that includes the church’s size, ethnic makeup, location, financial resources, etc. Most times when church members are asked to describe their church they will say something like “We are a friendly church.” But church members can mean by that that they are only friendly to one another! So this task of identity can be important. It involves discussing with the community how they view the church, looking at demographic information about the church, and looking at historical trends in attendance and ministries.

Last night, as I described this stage to the congregation, I told them it was like looking in a mirror. When we look in the mirror, we see things about ourselves that we both like and dislike. This fourth stage holds a mirror up to the church so that they can see themselves as they truly are.

One woman said “Well, I like the sound of this stage, it never hurts to hear the truth!” I disagreed with her and explained that at times the truth can be painful.

I then shared that Kadie and I recently attended a marriage retreat run by a marriage and family counselor and his wife. During the retreat, I came to the realization that even though Kadie and I have been married for fifteen years (and dated for four before that) there are still some significant areas of our relationship in which I am not communicating well.

Understanding that after almost 20 YEARS of a relationship, I still had work to do was a painful realization. (At that point in the meeting, one wife slapped her husband’s shoulder and said “You need to go to one of those retreats!”)

The truth about our identity (whether a church or an individual) can be painful, but it is also necessary.