Goodbye to the Fanksy Poon

Corporal punishment has made our home a less chaotic place.

We made the decision several years ago that we would spank the kids only when their actions placed their lives in danger. So Scooter and Skeeter received spankings pretty rarely—essentially only for things like walking out into the street or running away from us in a public place. That system worked very well and we’ve not had to spank either of them in years.

And then we had a son.

We started out with the same general principle for Squealer that we did for the girls. But after about three years, we realized that we were going to have to change tactics. Despite his abhorrence for time outs, Squealer often ignores them and continues to repeat the behavior that led to them. So with that in mind, we began to utilize a small wooden spoon to swat his behind when he repeatedly transgressed his limitations. We initially called it the “Spanky Spoon,” but Squealer couldn’t pronounce that so he refers to it as the “Fanksy Poon” (and of course, we all began to refer to it as Fanksy Poon as well).

But Squealer has matured to the point where a wooden spoon not longer accomplishes is corporal task. Because of this fact, I made one purchase during the rummage sale of which I am particularly proud. I purchased a sturdy paddle from an old ball and paddle game.

I have named it Mr. Buster. Scooter and Squealer took great delight in drawing a mean face on it. The face is frowning and saying the words "Squealer, get back in bed!!"

I’ll let you know when it is ummm…… broken in.

Susan Song Update

The intentional interim process continues at Susan Song Baptist. The church had never planned out a calendar of upcoming events before, so we began that process and it has taken us a few weeks. When we finish the year (next Wednesday) I’ll ask them to look over the calendar and see how many events they have planned that do not concern fellowship. I think that it will be a good tool to help them see their identity.

Last weekend we held a community-wide rummage sale in order to pay the insurance for the church (which runs around $1,500.00 a year). We raised $900 which was a great start. I worked the sale and enjoyed getting to see the people from the church in their natural habitat, away from the Sunday morning service.

I am still trying to reach the former pastor for lunch. He has not been returning my phone calls although I found out form a mutual friend that he has received them. I will try one more time and then write him a letter. I think that it will be good for the church if he returns to the church and lets us celebrate his ministry. Those who know him say that he has a great sense of anxiety.

I hope that he overcomes it!

Final Thoughts on Ramsey

I've thought more about finances in the last two years than I have in my previous thirty-five. Some final thoughts:

1) I am amazed at how pervasive debt is today. School debt, car debt, and a thirty year mortgage (or fifty????!!!!) is the norm. That is a lot of money flying out the door each month. A colleague of mine leased a new car recently. We're close and he knew of our plan. He said "I don't consider a car payment an option. You have to have one and I'll have one the rest of my life." We've decided to get off this debt merry-go-round.

2)The greatest feeling about sloughing off our debt like so much dead skin is the flexibility it has given us. We can now respond to impending crises by rechanneling our money from investments to stockpiling cash when the demands of life appear. We can respond to immediate crises by using our emergency fund. That flexibility feels very liberating.

3) We also have more money to give. Ramsey is big on tithing and while we've been on his plan we've given money to the work of our church like we've never been in a position to give before.

4) My profession is infested with debt. Student debt is rising astronomically, with the average undergrad completing their degree with $19,000.00 in debt. Life is no better for graduate students either. I am concerned about students who go heavily in debt to get into a profession that won't allow them to pay it off in a reasonable length of time.

5) Ramsey's plan isn't perfect. My main criticism is that it is pretty cookie-cutter in its approach. He is a lot stronger on getting out of debt than he is on investing. Probably because so many more people need to get out of debt than they need to invest.

6) Finally, I think one great appeal about Ramsey is the power of his personal narrative. He was a millionaire before the age of thirty, lost it all, and was a millionaire again before forty. The experience of going bankrupt seared into his personality an aversion to debt. Being anti-debt is now a crusade for him.

His plan is simple, but not easy. It is also is not instant wealth or get-rich quick. It is methodical, and takes decades to achieve financial goals. It is simple, but not easy.

As he says "I sell crock-pots, not microwaves."

Why not give it a shot? I would recommend starting by reading The Total Money Makeover.

Baby Steps Four, Five, and Six (VII)

These three steps are carried out simultaneously.

Step Four is 15% of gross income into retirement. We've been putting only 8% of my income into retirement, so we really need to kick this up. We are in the process of setting up an automatic draft into some Roth IRA's for this. Ramsey recommends Roth because it grows tax free. I'd rather pay the taxes now rather than later because I know that I have the money now. Who knows how things will look in thirty years??

Step Five is saving for kid's college. Regrettably, the school system I work for does not pay for tuition for dependants. (I literally do not know of another system or school that does NOT provide tuition assistence for faculty kiddos). We are on our own. Our goal, starting next year, is to save up $2000.00 per kid, per year into an Educational Savings Account. That won't pay for Harvard, but it will get them started. Scooter (at age 11) is the one I'm mostly concerned about paying for. Our goal is to pay off the house by the time she begins so that we can work to cash flow her first year. Which brings us to...

Step Six is to pay off the house early. Ramsey recommends no more than a 15 year fixed rate mortgage, which was the only thing we were doing correctly when we began his program. At this stage, he advises you to pay what extra amount that you can on the balance. We have about 12 years left on the note now and will really work to pay it off in seven years. We are starting off this year by paying an extra $80.00 a month which will pay a bit more than an extra payment per year. Obviously we will need to increase that to meet our goal.

Final thoughts tomorrow...

Baby Step Three (VI)

The third baby step is to build up your emergency fund to 3-6 months of expenses. This is a general rule of thumb that I've seen recommended in some other places as well. Since Kadie (the nurse) and I have reasonably (ummm...mostly) secure jobs, we opted for the three month expenses emergency fund.

For us, that equates to about $12,000. In some ways, this step was the hardest. It took almost as long as Baby Step two, but without the gratification of seeing our debts evaporate. Plus, I must confess that we were not as diligent and focused as we were on Step Two. One gets lax when the wolf is no longer at the door.

It took us until September to save up the money. But now we've done it. We've put $2,000.00 in our local credit union (earning nothing) and the other $10,000.00 into a Capitol One Money Market account (earning 4.8% interest). We figured it would be nice to earn some interest off them for once.

We celebrated tonight at the same Japanese Steak House. Squealer enjoys the open flames. He's got some pyromania in him!

Baby Steps One and Two (V)

So Kadie and I made some plans. First, we decided not to get the minivan fixed right away. We waited for a month to save up the money to repair it. My parents graciously loaned us a car for that month. Kadie then signed onto a contract and began to work extra shifts to generate the $3,300.00 for the new car engine.

We then turned our attention to Ramsey’s plan.

Baby step one was the easiest. Dave suggests $1,000.00 in your baby emergency fund. We had around $1,200.00 in the bank, so this was the easiest of our goals to meet. We pulled out $200.00 to throw at our debts and turned our attention to paying off debt.

Baby step two was the hardest. Ramsey says to lay out your debts, from smallest to largest, (except for your mortgage) and then begin to pay them off. Our debt snowball looked something like this:

$200.00 Bank of America Credit Card
$380.00 Discover Card
$1,100.00 Best Buy computer payment (at a lovely 0% interest)
$17,520.00 Our 2005 Saturn VUE

In March of 2005 we began to pay off these debts. We started with the lowest and worked our way through them. Ramsey reccomends starting with the lowest total amount (as opposed to highest interest rate) in order to make some quick progress.

The toughest debt (obviously) was the car. We purchased the car in November and then took charge of our debt the following spring. Dave recommends keeping the car if you can pay off all your debts within 18 months of starting his plan. We figured that we could meet those guidelines.

And we did it. Kadie worked a few contracts and we cut our expenditures down substantially. We stretched our paychecks and tightened the screws on our budgets. Instead of taking an extended road trip for a vactaion (like to Colorado or Virginia, as we had in past summers) we stayed at a relatives home for a weekend. That was our "big" vacation. We spent more time at home and our riding bikes.

The last month, January of 2006, was the toughest. In that last month our microwave died (it was a wedding gift that had survived 14 years of culinary abuse); our dish-washer died; and our garbage disposal died (right after I had installed our new dish washer, Kadie was CERTAIN that I had screwed something up); and Kadie had her debit card stolen at work (amusingly, they went out and immediately began buying gas. It was when gas hovered in the $2.80’s).

So despite the challenges, we paid off all our debts by November, as well as the $3,300 for the rebuilt minivan engine. When we took our last payment check to the post office to put it in the mail we brought Skeeter, Scooter and Squealer all into the lobby to help us drop it in. And then to celebrate as a family we went out to eat at a really nice Japanese steak house.

And yes, we paid in cash.

Implementing the Plan (IV)

Kadie and I had to make several changes to how we approached our finances. But the first thing we had to do was simply to pay attention. Due to our exceptional fiscal laziness, we had not kept good track of our finances. Here’s one example: When I started my current job, I was given the choice of receiving my pay over the course of twelve months or over the course of nine. We chose twelve months…or at least we thought we did. Actually we were being paid over nine months but didn’t even realize it. So when February rolled around I suddenly realized that my pay would end in another two months. I grew concerned that our kids would start getting hungry after that last paycheck.

Fortunately, due to summer school and Kadie picking up some extra shifts, we survived. That story is but one account of our inattention to our finances. Miraculously we survived, but have never felt any sense of financial stability. We realized that we initially needed to follow two suggestions of Ramsey.

First: the dreaded budget. We sat down and worked out a budget. Actually, Kadie wrote out the budget and then we went over it. Ramsey suggests that one spouse is usually more detail oriented than the other…he refers to them as the nerd. Kadie was a math major before she transferred to nursing school, so we each felt comfortable with her crunching the numbers.

As noted earlier, I am what Ramsey refers to as the free spirit, not often bound by details. But the free spirit has to make a change in the budget. That gives us ownership in the budget too. So I made a small change and we had our first budget.

Our second choice was to go with the envelope system. This is a collection of envelopes into which you divide up things that you normally pay cash for. In our case we established envelopes for entertainment, grocery, clothes, allowance for the kids, and gifts. We then placed a certain amount of cash in each envelope after every paycheck. When the envelope is empty…well, that’s it until you get paid again. The kids (and our friends!) have gotten used to us declining dining invitations with “Sorry, we’d love to but the envelope is empty!” I particularly found this helpful as a visual reminder that money is limited. It hurts more to pay with cash than it does to pay with a credit or debit card. More than anything else, this has forced us to live within our means.

Next: Our debts!!

Outlining The Plan (III)

Dave Ramsey’s plan consists of seven steps, which he calls baby steps to illustrate their simplicity (he stole the term from this film).

Baby Step One: Save $1,000.00 in the bank as a baby emergency fund.

Baby Step Two: List all of your debts from smallest to largest. Begin paying the smallest debt off first, paying minimum payments on the rest of the debts. After you eliminate the smallest debt, you take that money and begin applying it to the next smallest debt. And so on. Each time you finish a debt, you get a little more money to take aim at the next debt. Over the weeks and months, your “debt snowball” grows bigger and bigger until by the end, you are paying down thousands of dollars a month on one debt.

Baby Step Three: Build up your baby emergency fund (From Baby Step One) into a fully funded emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of expenses into savings.

Baby Step Four: Invest 15% of your gross income into retirement savings.

Baby Step Five: Save Money for kid’s college (if applicable)

Baby Step Six: Pay extra on your home mortgage.

Baby Step Seven: Invest and gain wealth. Then start giving it away.


Ramsey's plan is simple, but not easy. By simple, I mean he says nothing here that is too complex for non-business majors. In fact, the chief criticism of his plan that I’ve read is that it isn’t nuanced enough. But we have found it helpful to have things spelled out so clearly.

But it isn’t easy. It required us to change our outlook on money (or, more accurately, to develop an outlook on personal finance).

Next, tackling the snowball!

Up the Baby Steps (II)

(For Entry I, click here)

“I’ve been listening to this guy on the radio named Dave Ramsey and he has a really cool book out” was PT Girl’s response. “We’ve used his plan to pay off thousands of dollars in debt this year” she continued. “It’s called the Total Money Makeover”

It would be an understatement to say that I listened with a skeptical ear. Graduate school beat into me (or nurtured what was already there) more than my fair share of cynicism. I am awfully critical of someone if I detect even a whiff of promotion from their program or plan. And talk radio jocks are the worst. To top it all off, I couldn’t imagine a cheesier name for a book.

But I agreed to read the book and see what he had to say. I certainly didn’t have any answers. I then read the book over the course of two evenings. And in it Ramsey laid out a plan to gain control of your finances that struck me as doable.

Essentially, Ramsey argues the following:

**Debt robs you of your income, which is really your only wealth building power, so you should work to eliminate debt as fast as you can. Once you have no more debt you can invest in retirement and education for your kids.

Well, that kinda makes sense. We had hundreds of dollars a month going out to service our debt. I could see that we would have some money to invest if we eliminated those loans.

**Putting down a written budget is the key toward meeting your financial goals.

Kadie and I ran a budget the first year or so of our marriage. We were given one of Larry Burkett's books as a wedding gift. Neither of us can figure out why we stopped running one. Probably due to laziness.

Two things Ramsey said resonated with me:

1) Try the plan for two or three months. If you don’t like it, then you can go back into debt as quickly as you want.

2) Getting out of debt, sticking to a budget and investing for the future is hard. (I knew that!!). But then Ramsey pointed out that being broke is hard too. So if they are both hard, why not pick the hard that will provide more money for your family?

Kadie and I had no budget and were pretty much running our household finances with a wet finger in the air, never sure which way our money was blowing. This led to occasional bouts of frustration as we would get notification that a check had bounced or that we needed to get a short term loan to cover our yearly income tax. The worst feeling was checking our account online, just a few days after payday and wondering where all the money had gone.

So we figured that we would give Ramsey’s plan a shot, if only for a few months…

(Tomorrow: The plan…)

Part of the Emphemera Still Floating Around in my Brain.....

Thirty years later, I still cannot get these images out of my mind...







And the One that started them all: The Yip Yip Martians meet the Telephone...






The Sleestacks still frighten me. And I still, bitterly hold Sidd and Marty Krofft personally responsible for so much that went wrong in the 1970's....

Otters and Lions and Hair—Oh My

I am considering changing the name of my blog to something like: An Otter’s Tale.

Gary Smalley distinguishes four personality types along two axes: Lion (leaders)/Retrievers (followers) on one axis and Beaver (workers)/Otter (players) along the other. I’m a Lion/Otter. My administrative responsibilities have forced upon me more elements of Beaverness than I care for, but that is the reward for showing any Leonine potential at my current educational institution. And I am incredibly blessed by our departmental secretary—who is truly a gift from God (and I mean that in all sincerity and sans fromage). She is meticulous and enjoys scanning papers for details and number crunching (shiver).

But once in awhile, my otter nature makes my life more difficult than it could be. Take this morning for example. I get up early with the girls and Scooter scoots off to the bus around 7:00. As bleary-eyed Skeeter and I go through our morning routine (Kadie sleeps in, having worked the late shift last night), it dawns on me that I could walk her to school, take our two dogs and then complete a brief run before arriving at work around 9:30. (Several morning arrivals this week allowed me to come in a bit later today.)

So I walk her to school and then continue running/walking for another 45 minutes or so. I return to the house at 8:50. Squealer is now up, and so is Kadie. The phone rings and it is our departmental secretary. "Payroll has to be approved by 9:00" she says.

"Crud!" I mutter. (Crud is my personal Christian expletive of choice).

Payroll has to be approved for all faculty in our department and for all student workers every two weeks. I have observed repeatedly that people become quite irate when their paychecks are delayed. And of course I have to sign off on payroll by enttering a code into our computer system software. That I cannot access from off campus.

So I find a Baylor cap to cover my motley morning hair and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I prepare to leave. I am in a gray T-shirt with gray gym shorts, unshaven, unbathed, and sweaty. I get in the car and race up to school. Fortunately I live very close. Unfortunately I remember that 9:00 for a MWF class is the busiest time of the academic week. There are several hundred students going into our building, as well as faculty who are late arriving to campus.

I pull into a parking space and a junior faculty member in our department pulls in right next to me.

Stupid timing.

We get out of our cars at the same time and he does a double take. "Are we allowed to wear that?" he asks questioningly. (A good response would’ve been a Tom Swiftie "I’ll break you in half if you ask me again!" Taran snapped.) Instead I mutter something about casual Fridays and pulled my cap down lower across my forehead and put my sunglasses in place.

I arrive at the door to our building and see one of our student workers standing there. He doesn’t catch my eye, so I realize that he hasn’t seen me. I get past him and start to open the building door. He says "Dr. Taran, I almost didn’t recognize you!"

Stupid almost.

I quickly make my way to our departmental offices. Our secretary sees me and is completely unsurprised at my outfit. I approve payroll on the computer and start to head back to the parking lot. "Nice hair" she yells over my shoulder. I ignore her.

Later that day, when I have safely returned to school in proper attire a student mentions "I heard about your new look Dr. Taran." And the last vestige of my pride seeps away.

Stupid Otter!

But I enjoyed the walk with Squealer and the run with the dogs.

Letting Go

One of the difficulties I have encountered in my short time (2 months) as the Intentional Interim (II) of Susan Song is the extent to which I should provide direction and make decisions. Due to my background as a former pastor, I tend to diagnose the problem and to make decisions pretty quickly. But my task as the II is to remind the church that they are a distinct community of faith that need not depend upon their pastor for their sole sense of identity and leadership. So I am encouraging them to move in a (productive) direction in which they feel led.

In churches that come from a pastor led model, there can be a hesitation for leadership. The pastor has made all of the decisions, so they naturally look to me to provide guidance. One early challenge has been to give them space and an opportunity to discuss options and possibilities.

I am convinced that God is working in this process. Just as important (if not moreso) they are convinced that God is working in their midst, obviously a tremendous source of comfort for any community of faith.

A Bleg

Please pray for my brother, Bartolo, who takes his doctoral exams at 9:00 am EST on Friday morning.

Thanks!

Up the Baby Steps (I)

Kadie and I are accomplishing some significant (for us) financial goals. I wanted to spend a few days blogging about them because they have impacted our lives so tremendously. Most of you who read this will slowly shake your heads and think “What poor, miserable financial slobs.” I have no doubt that most of you learned these lessons long ago.

But I blog our experiences for two reasons: to have a written record, and also to encourage others who may be in financial binds that they can get out of them.

Two years ago, in March of 2004, we received some devastating financial news. Our Ford Windstar’s engine had imploded and it would cost 3,500 to install a new engine. Given the important fact that we had nowhere near that much money in our bank account, we were stunned by how to respond. In particular, we were resigned to the fact that we were going to have to borrow the money to pay for the repairs.

The fact that we were in such a position infuriated me. At that time we had been married for a dozen years and had seen our income rise from living off the tips I could pry from unwilling customers to a good, fulltime job for me and part time nursing work for Kadie. In short, our income had never been higher...but we were not living within our means. We had purchased a home and and our expenses exceeded our income as much now as they ever had. In fact, we had really never had more in the bank than we did that fateful day in March when we got the news on the car.

While talking with PT Girl about the engine a few days later, she asked if she could offer me some financial advice. I recall my response was something along the lines of “Whatever we’ve been doing has not been working out for us at all. Tell me what you’ve got…”

Blessings in a Jar

I attended my first business meeting at Susan Song last Wednesday. It was conducted in the same, informal way that so many are in smaller churches across the convention. During the meeting, one member made a motion that “We use the blessings jar for the $300.00” and then she turned and grinned at me. I had no idea what she was talking about.

But apparently Susan Song has a glass vase that they keep on the Lord’s Supper Table (?!) in front of the pulpit. From week to week, as people feel led, they place money in the vase and it grows over time. What the church has voted to do is use the money to pay for the reflections time at the end of the interim. I thought that was a very appropriate solution that should resolve our pinch from a few weeks ago.

After they explained to me what it was I said “Hmmmm, that sounds a lot like a tip jar.” They were amused feigned amusement. Well, at least I have some experience earning tips!

The Case of the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber

At the risk of confirming my status in category one of Bowden's new Southern Baptist Blogger taxonomy:

We have a toy that we picked up at a carney some few years ago. It is a stick with a pig head on one end and a trigger at the other end. When you squeeze the trigger, the mouth moves and the pig “bites” with its mouth and opposable jaw. You can use it to snatch, or grab, small objects. Several years ago we began referring to it as a “Pig Headed Snatch Grabber” (wait, Googling...yep, we’ve coined a new term). Normally, it is a simple toy that each of the kids enjoy. But in Squealer's hands, it has become an instrument of torture.

In the Vue, all three of the kids are crammed in the back seat with Skeeter in his car seat between his big sisters. Oftentimes, while we are driving around, Squealer will take the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber and “bite” his sisters with it as they sit in the car. It doesn’t hurt them, but really bugs them a lot. It drives them crazy because they are held in place by their seatbelts and cannot escape. It always ends with one of the three weeping, but before it gets to that point it is actually quite amusing to watch. (Sometimes it ends when one of the girls successfully disarms (dispigs?) him and tosses the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber into the very back of the car). We usually stop them before they toss him into the back of the car.

Yesterday, Kadie took Skeeter to the orthodontist to get her braces checked. Skeeter has a fairly substantial crossbite and so has been burdened with braces at the tender age of eight. Kadie dropped her off at the door and went to park the car. Skeeter had gone inside, and they had escorted her on into the orthodontist's office. By the time Kadie arrived, Skeeter was concentrating on an explanation while the dental assistant was sitting there patiently listening:

Skeeter: “...and then, he’ll take the Pig Headed Snatch Grabber and use it to bite my arms and I try to get away, but he bites my leg. So I lean away from him as far as I can, but I can’t get away and he keeps doing it, and doing it, and doing it, and that really bothers me!!”

By this time, Kadie has no idea why Skeeter is telling this to the dental assistant who continues to listen patiently. As soon as Skeeter finishes her impassioned tale of woe there is silence for a few seconds. Then the dental assistant quietly says with a smile on her face:

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I should’ve been more specific. I mean is there any thing bothering you about the braces.”

Posted Without Comment

Spheres at Susan Song

We continue our look at history at Susan Song. The last few Wednesday evenings we have discussed the past and how it has affected (and still affects) the church. I have initiated the discussion by asking questions like:


What is your favorite time of year here at Susan Song?

What traditions are passed on in your family? What traditions are an important part of the church life?

What was the most exciting thing to happen during your time at Susan Song?

What was the most tragic thing to occur at Susan Song?

It was when I asked this final question that I received the most surprising responses. While most in the group associated the “most exciting thing” with some corporate achievement of the church, most associated the “most tragic thing” personally. People told me about the deaths of their spouses, children, and other key members of the church.

I think what surprised me was the simple reminder that people in our churches don’t always have strife and difficulties because of events at church. They are often directed and motivated by events that are beyond our control. I wonder how many church conflicts have their roots in the personal rather than the corporate spheres?

The Tragedy of Sin

Two couples in a church.

An alleged indiscretion.

Each maintains their innocence, but only one can be telling the truth. Kadie is torn as those involved are our friends. My cynical nature shields me somewhat from the pain. But the situation is another reminder (as if we needed it!) of the powerful sin nature that grips us all. Although I will readily admit the theological difficulties of a sinful nature, I have long been convinced of its truth. Sin infects each of us and we see its terrible effects every day.

But its tough when you see fellow church members engage in it and it destroys their relationships. Ultimately, that is what sin does. It separates us, not only from God, but from each other.

The Semester Has Started Again...

Can you tell? I will be back to semi-regular posting soon.