Birthday Lunch

Nothing like working on your birthday. Since I'm teaching this summer, I didn't get to take the day off, but did go out with the family a few days ago. We went to our favorite family restaurant and had a good time. They gave me three birthday cards, all of which I loved. There was also an appropriate level of good natured ribbing by the hostess after Kadie told her we were celebrating my birthday.

Her: “Don’t tell me your age, let me guess. I bet your turning 18--No no, I got it: 21!!”
Me: “If you add your guesses together you’re close.”

The family got me an iPod broadcaster so that I can force everyone in the car to listen to my music. (On the way to church Wednesday night I turned on Air Supply’s Greatest Hits. It was, perhaps, the singular most merciless act of my parenthood…All out of love indeed).

But lunch time conversations can be oddly surreal at times. Scooter loves to talk about anything and Skeeter tries to keep up with her big sister. Most of the time, Squealer is simply trying to master his bladder control. Kadie (the good parent) has been taking the kids to the library a lot this first month of summer. They have apparently each inherited my interest in history as Scooter has been reading some British history while Skeeter has been reading about the American settlers.

Skeeter: Our family is a lot like Laura Ingell’s family in Little House on the Prairie. They had a Dad and we have a Dad. They have a mom and we have a mom. Scooter is like Laura and I am like Mary. Squealer is like one of the stinky boys who lived near the Big Woods.

Me: “But didn’t they have another sister??”

Skeeter: (aggravated) “It doesn’t have to be perfect”

Scooter: “Well I think our family is a lot like the Tudors. Daddy, you are King Henry VIII, Skeeter is Elizabeth, I’m Mary, Squealer is Edward, and Mom is Jane.”

Me: “I’ve often called your little brother a Tudor.”

Kadie: “Who is Jane?”

Scooter (patiently): "Mom, Jane was Henry’s last wife, the only one who gave him an heir. She died.”

Me: “Actually they all died.”

Scooter: “DAD!! You know what I mean.”

Skeeter: “How did they die?”

Scooter: “Well, Mom died the same year Edward was born and then Edward died when he was nine. Oh, (turning to Skeeter) and then you killed me. Isn’t it sad that the younger sister killed Mary?”

Skeeter: (Looking stunned) I cannot believe that Laura Ingells killed her sister Mary!!”

Edward Squealer: (Standing up quickly in his chair) "Daddy! I gotta tinckle!!!"


(I've never thought about how to spell tinckle before)