Last Friday evening, after exactly one softball practice in the preceding twelve years, I laced up my brand new ($19.99 from Payless) cleats and took to the softball field. I was the starting third baseman for the Lakeview Miscreants, our church softball team.
We play in a Baptist league here in town, and were late in assembling a team. Our first practice was a Thursday and our first game the following night. We were spanked in two straight games on Friday evening, 14-6 and 12-6 respectively (so we did show some improvement). Our official team motto is "You get to laugh at me and then I get to laugh at you."
My fielding was much better than I expected. Which is to say I only made four errors over the course of our double-header. The first error was failing to snare a line drive that was very catchable…though I’m hampered by my microscopic vertical leap. The next two errors were bobbles that enabled fleet runners to beat my weak-armed throws.
I was most proud of my fourth error. I started the second game at short (a demotion perhaps?!) and fielded an easy grounder effortlessly. I then airmailed the throw to the first baseman (who was only about 18 feet from me). My throw flew to his right and sent both adult and children spectators scurrying out of the way like a covey of quail. It was a beautiful thing to behold. (Chuck Knoblauch is my hero) . I did settle down to make most of the routine plays the rest of the evening.
I performed even more poorly at the plate. I hammered a solid single to right field in my first at bat and then went 0 for 5 the rest of the evening (weak grounders and pop ups to various infielders). I did score an additional run after I reached on an error.
But all in all, there is something to be said about Baptists hammering each other on the softball diamond instead of through blogs, so it was a nice change of pace.
But I didn’t escape unscathed. I mishandled a short hop throw from our left fielder and it caught me clean in the shin. Fortunately, the shock of the injury rendered my leg numb for the rest of the evening. But it looks nice, don’t you think?
We play in a Baptist league here in town, and were late in assembling a team. Our first practice was a Thursday and our first game the following night. We were spanked in two straight games on Friday evening, 14-6 and 12-6 respectively (so we did show some improvement). Our official team motto is "You get to laugh at me and then I get to laugh at you."
My fielding was much better than I expected. Which is to say I only made four errors over the course of our double-header. The first error was failing to snare a line drive that was very catchable…though I’m hampered by my microscopic vertical leap. The next two errors were bobbles that enabled fleet runners to beat my weak-armed throws.
I was most proud of my fourth error. I started the second game at short (a demotion perhaps?!) and fielded an easy grounder effortlessly. I then airmailed the throw to the first baseman (who was only about 18 feet from me). My throw flew to his right and sent both adult and children spectators scurrying out of the way like a covey of quail. It was a beautiful thing to behold. (Chuck Knoblauch is my hero) . I did settle down to make most of the routine plays the rest of the evening.
I performed even more poorly at the plate. I hammered a solid single to right field in my first at bat and then went 0 for 5 the rest of the evening (weak grounders and pop ups to various infielders). I did score an additional run after I reached on an error.
But all in all, there is something to be said about Baptists hammering each other on the softball diamond instead of through blogs, so it was a nice change of pace.
But I didn’t escape unscathed. I mishandled a short hop throw from our left fielder and it caught me clean in the shin. Fortunately, the shock of the injury rendered my leg numb for the rest of the evening. But it looks nice, don’t you think?
Overall, I don’t recall having so much fun in awhile. I’ll be chronicling subsequent
7 comments:
I gave up softball a couple of years ago. It wasn't that I was the oldest guy on the team, I could handle that; it was the look on my wife's face as she handed me two ice packs when I walked through the door: one for each knee.
I miss softball! I wish I had a team to play with here. I guess I'll just have to get my fix helping the boys at their last t-ball "game" this Saturday. Besides, I realized I'm more scared of the ball than I used to be. Or maybe that's just from t-ball again.
Ashley
http://ch4pt3rfour.livejournal.com
my, my, my, my...Taran, I'm pretty sure that we had a discussion about the elderly and softball not mixing (as noted by your beautiful artwork on your leg)!! Although, I loved your rendition of what happened...quite humorous!!
Best laugh I have had in a long time! Really appreciate your humor and insight when you comment on baptist's beating each other up on the softball field rather than in blogs. Great line.
Maybe you should try golf, then again, after reading this article softball might be safer on the diamond.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070522/ap_on_re_us/golf_cart_plunge_1
dd
Bowden,
The only advantage of the rather sedentary life I've lived is that my joints are in pretty good shape. My knees have not had nearly the workout that say…my stomach has.
Ashley,
I suspect that in the small village you live in, you could probably find a softball league somewhere.
PT Girl,
I’m not sure I deserve the “elderly” line...I seem to recall that we are pretty close in age. Or to put it another way, if you are young enough to be “great with child,” I think I’m still young enough to play softball. (Although your child will turn out much better than my game!)
DD,
I’ve been pretty down about the direction that Southern Baptist bloggers have taken recently. It is getting more and more personal and more and more segregated into two camps. I see fewer conversations going on and more people simply saying “Great Post!” in the comment section.
Great post!
:)
B
B,
Nicely done!!
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