TM

Setting: An elevator, slowly rising from the first to the fourth floor.

Characters:
Taran: A slightly pudgy, nearing middle-aged, freshly tenured professor.

Four undergraduate females, each with cellphone in hands, thumbs flying furiously.

Girls: -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- --click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click-

“Ding!” as we pass the second floor.

Girls:-click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- --click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click-

“Ding!” as we pass the third floor.

Girls: -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- --click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click-

Me: (To no one in particular) “You know, when I was your age we used to talk on our telephones.”

Two of the girls look at me in the same way that Squealer looks at creamed spinach, with a mixture of revulsion and pity. They then provide a token (if condescending) chuckle. The other two ignore the comment completely.

Girls: -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- --click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click- -click-

“Ding” as we arrive at the fourth floor. The door opens and they depart.

Appropriately, I am left behind.