Boundaries

For the last several weeks, we’ve been undertaking the laborious process of converting ancient VHS and miniDV tapes to DVDs. We’ve never done this before, so it’s been quite the challenge. The power supply on our ancient videocamera (purchased in 1995) no longer works, so I bought a replacement on Ebay for $15.00. A small price for videos, unseen for over a decade. So we’ve been enjoying a few hours each evening watching these videos and explaining to the kids who all the strangers in these videos are.

What does this have to do with Ministry Monday? One of the video tapes was an extended recording of Scooter’s second birthday. We had it at a local park in Waco and it was full of the normal chaos, screams and frivolity associated with such locations. One amusing side note to this party is that on two occasions, I forgot that the camera was on and the viewer gets vertigo from me carrying the camera at my side as I walked around the park. That’s the bad news. The good news is that the microphone was also on and so you could hear every conversation that I had with various family members.

But at the time, I was pastoring Lone Oak, and we invited several church members to the party. At one point in the party, you could hear me earnestly talking with this church member about some significant issue. I don’t recall exactly what it was regarding, but you can hear him expressing disagreement with the way I had handled something. Then you can hear me responding. It wasn’t so much an argument as it was a discussion over a difficult issue. Watching this video these eleven and a half years later, I am struck by one inescapable question:

WHY AM I DISCUSSING CHURCH ISSUES WITH A MEMBER AT MY OWN DAUGHTER’S SECOND BIRTHDAY PARTY?!?!?

(Sorry for all caps.) Looking at the tape through the lens of a decade’s experience, I am reminded of a desperate need for boundaries between pastor and church. If I could go back and have a conversation with Pastor Taran, I’d strongly suggest that he take a look at the boundaries he had set with his church. The line between church and family was too much a blur. I wish the younger Taran had said to the church what God said to the sea “This far you may come, but no further.” I don’t blame the man for the conversation, but I would like to wack my younger self across his forehead and say “What were you thinking?!”There is a lack of self awareness among many good meaning, Godly, well-spirited people in the church as to this issue of boundaries.

Pastors should set them early and often.