Background Checks and an Inside Candidate

We had to take care of two other housekeeping issues regarding the search. First, we had to conduct a background check and a credit check on Brother Rick. The same weekend as the theological interview, we got two members of the committee (myself and a member who also chaired the personnel committee) to conduct both checks and to report back to the rest of the committee. We went to http://www.securesearchpro.com/ and for a very reasonable $12.00 price got a criminal background check that covered all 50 states. (He was clean). When he was in town for his theological interview, we had him go to http://www.annualcreditreport.com/ and get a free credit report. Our purpose in generating this report was to verify that his indebtedness wasn’t too substantial. Once again he was clean.

Our second task was a bit more substantial. We had an inside candidate for the position of pastor. Our youth minister had assumed a great number of responsibilities in the absence of a pastor. In fact, he was the only full-time minister remaining on staff. He assumed preaching responsibilities for several months while the church got an interim and he blossomed in that role. He also began doing hospital visits and performing funerals and weddings and did a great job in all of these areas. A few months into the process he asked me if he could submit his name as a candidate for the position. He said “How convinced do I need to be that God is calling me to be pastor before I submit my name?” I told him that I thought he only needed to be confident (and obedient) enough that God wanted him to submit his name, not necessarily convinced that he was called to become the next pastor.

After considering his candidacy, the committee was unanimous that he was not going to be the next pastor. At this time we were also reaching the end of the interview process with brother Rick. So another committee member and I took our youth pastor out to breakfast and shared with him the committee’s decision. Part of the difficulty of our task is that we wanted to be straightforward with him as to some concerns that the committee had about him in the role of pastor, while still affirming the exceptional job he was doing during the interim. He was very receptive to our concerns and took the news well. He also shared that the fact he would not be the next pastor would make his wife extremely happy! He pledged to work hard alongside the new pastor. As we shared with him about brother Rick, he grew even more excited. Although I had some initial concerns about how the meeting would go, it turned out wonderfully.

As a post-script, the church has recently changed the job title of the youth minister to that of administration/associate pastor. He now works hand in hand with the new pastor and is doing an outstanding job.

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The Theological Interview (II)

As we concluded our theological interview, we only had one reservation. A few on the committee had only seen him preach on one occasion. One of the committee members mentioned the fact that she would like to hear him preach again. He told her that he had preached three times for the committee (a neutral site, once in our home town, and once at his church) and that it was enough. If we asked him to preach for us again, he was going to withdraw from the search. Although this led to some frustration on the part of the committee (including myself) in retrospect his approach seemed to be reasonable, and geared to protecting his current congregation from another absence from the pulpit.

At the end of the meeting, I asked Rick if he had any final questions for us. He asked a few about our weaknesses and then ended the interview with the following line. “You have asked me a lot of questions and I have answered to the best of my ability. I imagine that you could find someone else who could answer these questions better than I could. I know that you could find someone with more experience than I have. But you won’t find anyone who will love this church more than I will. All I have to offer you is my heart. That’s what I have to offer this church: my heart.” When he finished these words, several of the committee members teared up.

Following the extensive theological interview, I walked Brother Rick out to his car. I slipped him a copy of our church directory with names of the regular attenders highlighted. When I returned to the rest of the committee, they were chatting excitedly. In short, the interview went well. It wasn’t that Rick had answered all the questions “correctly” (By correct I suppose a PSC means “Simply agreeing with us”). On a few occasions he mentioned the he didn't know the answer to a question. But more than his theological fidelity, the committee was impressed by his honesty and his transparency. One committee member summed up the feelings for several when he said “I feel like in the eight hours I spent today with him that I know him better than I got to know our previous pastor in the last thirteen years.”

Although several of the committee wanted to vote on the spot, I was concerned about acting due to the emotion of the moment. I suggested that we wait a week before voting. But over the next few days, as I spoke with various committee members, I began to realize that every member of the committee was in favor of voting early on Wednesday. So on Wednesday we decided to vote on calling him as pastor. The committee was unanimous, including the alternate. We immediately called Brother Rick and let him know the exciting news. He was excited as well.

After we hung up the speaker phone and were filing out of the conference room, one committee member told me in passing: I wonder if these next two weeks will be the hardest part of the process? I assured her that the most difficult part of the search was behind us.

Boy was I wrong!

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To the Four Winds...

Life has (yet again) accelerated around our household. For the first time in thirteen years, each of our kids is in school. Scooter occupies the Alpha position in middle school as an eighth-grader, the queen of all she surveys. Peasant sixth graders cower in her presence. Skeeter is in the same position as a fifth grader in elementary school, at the pinnacle of the heap. At the other end of the food chain is Squealer, a small kindergartener who is still adjusting to this new (and exhilarating) world outside our household.

Having three kids at three different schools has stretched our meager planning and scheduling skills to the breaking point. Mornings begin early and race by. Scooter heads to the front yard at 6:59 am for her 7:00 bus stop. (Yes, I’m mostly over my first impression from a couple of years ago). After much prayer and anguish, we decided to let Squealer ride the bus. This concerned us, because with his diminutive size (and his giftedness in bothering people) we were concerned about him being tossed out one of the bus windows. But after an extended phone conversation with the bus driver (and the reality of his school being some distance from our home) we decided to give it a shot. He too must be at a bus stop for a 7:00 am pick up, about a mile from our house. Skeeter leaves the house at 7:30 via bike. Her school is .9 miles from our home and you must be 1 mile away to ride the bus. So despite the fact that she must cross a pretty major thoroughfare, we decided to take the plunge and let her ride. She loves the responsibility and freedom that a bike gives her.

So every morning, our three kids are scattered to the four winds. A bike, two buses and a multitude of prayers fan out across our community every morning. And we are reminded again that they are in His hands.

Exactly where they've been all along.

Pastor Search Committee Questions

I will include here the pool of questions we prepared for Brother Rick. Some of these we devised, but most came from various other resources. Again, we asked about 70 of these, but in the course of the interview, Rick touched on answers to each of them. Also some of them we ended up not asking because we simply hit the high points of the Baptist Faith and Message and asked “Where do you agree and disagree?”

Our main goal was to be thorough on hitting the primary points. Certainly we may have gone overboard (as DD questions here). I think the main thing we wanted was to be able to answer anyone in the church who might ask us a question “Did you ask him about…..? or “What does Brother Rick think about …?”

Anyway, here’s the list. I would appreciate comments on other questions we might have asked, or (from our pastors out there) what are some of the stranger questions that you’ve been asked?

PASTORAL MINISTRY QUESTIONS

Ministry Experience

1. What have you learned in the congregation you now serve that will make you a better pastor?

2. Describe your weaknesses and your strengths.

3. Describe a ministry experience with the congregation you now serve that captures your greatest strengths.

4. Outside of normal vacation time, how many weeks per year do you like to be away from church doing ministry (revivals, missions, conferences, etc.) and study?

Philosophy of Ministry
5. What attracts you to Lakeview Baptist Church? How long would you like to stay at this church?

6. Describe your leadership style. To what extent are you self-directed in your ministry responsibilities?

7. Describe the mission of your present congregation. In what ways has your ministry influenced this mission?

Worship Leader
8. Describe a typical worship service for which you plan to lead. Do you use an order of service?

9. How do you balance worship so it addresses the needs of different age groups?

10. Have you felt the Holy Spirit leading you to change the service in any way once it has begun and how did you handle that?

Pastoral Care and Counseling
11. Recently, sexual misconduct and internet pornography within the church has become a more visible issue. What safe guards have you initiated to protect yourself and the church from such misconduct?

12. How do you view your role in visiting members and church guests (visitors)?

13. Do you have any restrictions on the performance of marriages? Describe your approach to marriage counseling.

14. What is your counseling philosophy?

15. Do you consider yourself a counselor? What type of counseling do you perform?

16. How do you equip church members to provide care to other congregational members?

17. Give us an example of a typical week of pastoral care activities.

18. As pastor you must be a leader and Lakeview Baptist Church has a history of following the pastor. How will you lead by example in the ministries of Lakeview Baptist Church?

Missions and Evangelism
19. What role does evangelism plan in your current church? (Worship, activites, etc.) Do you view some activities or services being more focused on evangelism than others? Which ones?

20. Some people believe a church can become too big. Others feel that every church should become as large as possible. What’s your view?

21. Compare and contrast outreach vs. soul winning.

22. What is your heart with regards to missions?

Staff Relationships
23. What accountability would be expected among staff members?

24. How comfortable are you in providing direction to staff members?

25. Who should be included in staff meetings?

26. How would you respond to other staff members who in your opinion are doing a poor job?

27. Describe how your management or leadership style affects your relationship with other church staff members?

28. When it comes to support staff, what is your policy with regards to church membership?

29. How do you relate to committees in your church?

Community Relations
30. What responsibility do you feel the church has to respond to the social problems affecting our community?

31. How do church politics on a local, state, regional, and national level figure into your ministry and time?

Personal
32. What motivates you as a pastor?

33. How do you cope with stress?

34. What spiritual disciplines guide your life?

35. Tell us about your devotional life.

36. Have you ever had a crisis of faith? And, if so, how did you work through it? What was learned?

Education
37. What skills do you bring to this position that you believe will serve you and the church well? How did you obtain these skills? How do you apply these skills to your work?

38. What are your intentions as far as continuing your education?

Congregation Life
39. What changes may be in store for our congregation if you become our pastor?

40. Describe your operational strategy during the first 6 months of a church. (How do you set goals, prioritize plans, define and evaluate success?)

41. What church structure do you view as best in helping a congregation to achieve its mission?

42. How have you approached the issues of finance and stewardship with your present congregation?

43. As pastor of a church, you have tremendous influence with that congregation. In your own words, could you explain or describe what that influence is?

44. How would you be willing to handle accountability from the congregation and do you have accountability partners that you meet with regularly? Who are they?

45. Coming from a much smaller congregation, how will you involve the body to help you meet its needs?

Preaching
46. Describe your routine process of preparing sermons.

47. Are there any topics you feel uncomfortable preaching about, such as finances or current moral issues?

48. How much time to you devote to sermon preparation?

49. How do you select sermon topics? Would you consider yourself a topical or exegetical preacher?

Christian Education
50. What is your role in Christian education?

51. What Bible study curriculum do you currently use for the different age groups within your church? How do you determine which to use?

52. What educational programs, other than Sunday School, do you emphasize?

Administration
53. What is the primary role of the deacon body? What responsibilities, priorities or boundaries should be the deacon body have in defining our church ministry?

54. What accountability should exist between the deacon body and the pastoral staff members?

55. Do you have a job description now? What parts of it do you feel confident about performing, and with what parts of it do you feel uncomfortable?

56. In what capacity do you work with committees, deacons, or church leadership and what role will they play in overall church decisions like personnel, vision, finances, and outreach?

Family Life
57. What things would you like the church to do to provide support to your family?

58. If you were to move here, what type of housing would you be looking for?

Questions about our Church
59. What do you see that you like about Lakeview Baptist Church?

60. Are there any concerns about which we have not asked, which might be of a sensitive nature for you or Lakeview Baptist Church?

61. Do you have questions about this position that have not been answered?

THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
1. Describe the importance of Scripture.

2. Explain the biblical term “baptism of the Spirit.” When does this baptism occur?

3. What are your views on baptism by water?

4. Views on Calvinism?
a. How does the Bible relate the sovereignty of God to salvation?
b. What does the Bible teach about the extent of man’s depravity?
c. What does Christ’s atonement accomplish?
d. What does the Bible teach about the perseverance and preservation of believers?

5. What is the proper use of the Old Testament Law?

6. What is the relationship of the Old Testament to the New Testament?

7. How would you explain the Trinity? Why is it important?

8. What is your view of end-time or eschatological issues?

9. Do you believe that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin? What is the significance of your belief?

10. What is your interpretation of the biblical teaching on Hell?

11. What does the Bible teach concerning spiritual gifts? Please delineate your views about prophecy and speaking in tongues.

12. What is your view of divorce and remarriage? How strictly will you follow this view in practice?

13. What is your view of the phrase, “The bishop [pastor] then must be…the husband of one wife” (1 Tim. 3:2)?

14. Please explain your views on church discipline.

15. Many children who appear to be converted at an early age show no evidence of knowing Christ later. How do you handle children when they come to you for counsel concerning conversion? What is your advice to parents?

16. What is a useful plan for receiving new members into the church? What are prerequisites?

17. What are your views on styles of church music?

18. Who should direct the worship of the church? Why? Which methods of leading corporate worship are appropriate? Which are inappropriate?

19. What are your views regarding raising money for various projects within the church? Should the church solicit those outside the church?

20. What are your convictions about the local church and debt?

21. What does the Bible teach about women in ministry?

22. What does the Bible teach about how churches should make decisions?

23. How should a pastor and his church relate to other churches locally and to the larger Southern Baptist body? Do you feel comfortable cooperating with other denominations? Do you draw any lines?

24. What are the biblical responsibilities of elders? Are there any distinctions between elders, pastors, and overseers? If applicable, what distinctions exist between staff and non-staff pastors?

25. What are the biblical responsibilities of deacons? How are deacons and elders to relate?

26. What emphasis do you give to the leadership of fathers with their families, especially in terms of family worship? Do you personally engage in family worship with your wife and children?

27. Are you familiar with the term “missional”? What does it mean?

28. How do you see a difference between being a church planter and a pastor?

29. What does the Bible say about homosexual behavior? Can one be a Christian and a homosexual?

30. What version of the Bible do you preach from?

31. What is your view of the use of the altar for prayer during the worship service?

32. To what degree, if any, do you differ with the historical doctrinal positions of this church?

33. Describe several ethical principles that guide your work.

34. What special services do you conduct throughout the year?

35. What is the purpose of the Lord’s supper? Do you believe it should be open or closed, and how often should it be practiced?

36. Do you believe that there should still be revival meetings? How often?

37. Describe a personal experience that has significantly shaped your own theology.

38. What are your views on the following:
a. God
b. Baptism
c. Jesus
d. Salvation
e. The Holy Spirit
f. The Church
g. The Bible
h. Stewardship

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Partial Bovine Missiles...

Several years ago, we received a Leapfrog Fridge Magnetic Farm Animal set. This toy/learning device sticks to your refrigerator and is accompanied by several farm animals which also stick to your fridge. You put both halves of the animals in the barn and mash them and they moo, cluck, oink or whatever. Or you can switch a button and mash them and then they spell the name of the animal. Due to the incredible power of inertia (consistently the most powerful force in our household), this rural structure has remained on our refrigerator for years, even though Squealer has left toddlerhood far behind. Squealer had generally forgotten about them….until a few days ago. I was in the living room and I began to hear some pretty intense wailing coming from the kitchen.

Skeeter: “Waaah!”

I ran into the room where Skeeter wailed while Squealer looked around somewhat disinterestedly. “What happened here?”

Skeeter: “Squealer threw a cow at me! Waah!!!”

Squealer: “No I didn’t! She’s lying.”

Skeeter: Stopped crying, in shock and her little brother’s cool prevarication. “Yes you did, you hit me with that cow right there.” She pointed by the dishwasher and guiltily resting there was the purple butt end of the cow magnet.

Squealer, shaking his head insistently: “I didn’t hit you with the cow, I hit you with a part of the cow.”

I said “Squealer is that true, did you hit her with the cow—I mean part of the cow” I added when I saw him beginning to object.

“Yes sir.”

“Do we throw things?”

“No sir, but it was just a part of the cow.”

I struggled for a moment before amending my next question “Do we throw parts of cows?”

“No sir.”

“You still need to apologize to your sister.”

“Skeeter, I’m sorry I hit you in the face with a part of the cow” he gently said.

She sniffled patiently and replied “I forgive you Squealer, for hitting me in the face with a part of a cow.”

Book Review: Wild Goose Chase

I’ve never heard of Mark Batterson. He’s the lead pastor of Washington, DC’s National Community Church an innovative church that has a lot of Washington movers and shakers in its membership. NCC meets in movie theaters at metro stops throughout the city, as well as in a church-owned coffee house near Union Station. More than seventy percent of NCC’ers are single twentysomethings who live or work on Capitol Hill. Mark is the author of the best-selling book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.

In the sequel to that book, Wild Goose Chase: Reclaim the Adventure of Pursuing God, Batterson develops the idea that there is an unpredictability to the movement and actions of God. The title of the book comes from the fact that among Celtic Christians, they often referred to the Holy Spirit as An Geadh-Glas or, the Wild Goose. He says that “Much like a wild goose, the Spirit of God cannot be tracked or tamed. An element of danger, an air of unpredictability surrounds Him.”

Batterson explores the barriers that prevent us from accepting God’s unpredictability in six areas, which he calls cages and explores in individual chapters. First, is the cage of responsibilities. He argues that our passions are often submerged beneath our day to day responsibilities. Second is the cage of the routine, being shackled by comfort and predictability. Third is the cage of assumptions (I’m too old, too young, too inexperienced, too set in my ways) where we assume that God cannot use us. The fourth cage is the cage of guilt in which we assume that God cannot use us because of past actions and choices. The fifth cage is the cage of failure, where we believe that we cannot overcome the mistakes of our past. The final cage is the cage of fear, being terrified of taking a step of faith.

I think this focus on the elusive presence of God is exactly right. So much of contemporary Evangelicalism consists in putting God into a particular box that is neat and orderly. But the Spirit blows where it will, and as believers we’d best stop pretending otherwise. As Lucy was told when she first entered Narnia “Aslan isn’t a tame lion!”

I will add that I think the association of the Holy Spirit as a Wild Goose is pretty weak. A wild goose chase is a metaphor for chasing something insubstantial, not the best description of God (a point he acknowledges). But look past the title of the book and you will find encouragement to allow God to move you in directions you might not have otherwise sought. I recommend this book.

I also have one free copy! Since Batterson pastors in D.C. and we are in an election season let’s make this a presidential question. One of my prized possessions is a autobiography of one of our presidents, with his autograph inscribed inside. His 100th birthday would’ve been celebrated this week. Who is he? Post it here and I’ll send you a copy of this book.

Overheard During Obama's Acceptance Speech

(The kids aren't really into politics, but because it is a memorable speech, I encouraged them to stay up and listen to Obama's acceptance speech).

Obama: "the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look like the last eight. On November 4th, we must stand up and say: "Eight is enough."

Scooter: "Oooooo?! Did you hear what he said about President Bush?"

Skeeter: "Was that a slam?"

Scooter: "Uhhhh...yeah"

Skeeter: "Well, I hope the President wasn't watching."

The Theological Interview (I)

Following our visit to his church, we contacted Brother Rick about a theological interview. While we had of course, discussed theology throughout the search process, we had not made it the central topic of any one interview with him. Certainly we would not have reached this stage of the process if there had been any theological red flags. We also had some loose ends that we needed to cover. For instance, we needed to lay out Lakeview’s financial situation and let him know the level of our indebtedness. We also felt it necessary to give him an honest appraisal of the staff situation I mentioned a few posts ago. In addition, we had not yet conducted a criminal background check or a credit check. (Which we accomplished by appointing two members of our committee to pull these reports, with his consent.)

So we decided to bring him into our town on a Friday and conduct the extended interview on Saturday. That Friday evening quickly arrived and Jim (as a PSC member and Personnel Chairman) and I had a working dinner with Rick where we went over the finances of the church as well as our personnel concerns. Rick asked numerous questions and also shared with us how he had addressed difficult circumstances with staff and financial challenges in previous places of ministry.

Some on the committee had been greatly concerned about “scaring off” a candidate when we revealed the level of church debt. But others felt that when the right candidate came along, he would be unconcerned. Rick’s reaction was neither one of surprise or concern. He simply accepted it and discussed how it had been addressed in the past. He also shared some wise advice on the personnel matter.

The following day we began at 8:00 am and interrogated interviewed Rick until around 5 that evening, stopping briefly for lunch. We had close to a hundred questions or so (I’ll include them in a separate post). The previous week we divided them up and so we went into the interview with a particular game plan. Because Rick is pretty talkative, particularly when a bit nervous, I tried to keep the session moving along. Of the one hundred questions, we probably asked seventy. The rest of the questions he covered in other answers. It was a long day, but a good day. By the end of the day, no question of the committee remained unasked and we were all exhausted.

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Visiting His Home Church (II)

Rick’s wife Elizabeth continued her question and said “If things go well and we are called to Lakeview…will Rick be thrown to the wolves?” I wasn’t sure what generated this question, beyond something that may have happened in a previous place of ministry. We tried to answer as best we could, essentially pledging that the leadership of the church represented on the committee would support the next pastor of Lakeview. She asked several follow up questions that focused on issues of family general quality of life. Overall she was honest with her concerns about what the new challenges of the ministry might be.

We continued our conversation for several hours. Jim, the former alternate who came with me, agreed with the rest of the committee that brother Rick might be the guy. I told the committee later that the effect was very much like those zombie movies. Every person who met him, came back to the group liking him.

We also came to a significant decision. We needed to have another meeting with Rick and the entire committee that would focus on his theological views.

But I was bothered by our answer to Elizabeth’s question. I was afraid that I made it sound like there were no wolves in Lakeview. So after a few days went by, I sent them the following email.

Dear Brother Rick and Elizabeth,

Let me again thank you for your questions. As a committee, one of our goals throughout this process has been for us to provide as much transparency as we know how to give. So I appreciate very much the fact that you both have been equally transparent and open in your dialogue with us. Please don’t hesitate to ask us anything, even the difficult questions.

Elizabeth, you asked a great question about the possibility of Rick being “thrown to the wolves” at Lakeview. After thinking about your question last night and today, I wanted to add a few things to our conversation. As your question recognizes, and as you know from experience, there are many wolves in the world of ministry. Some come from within the church, and some come from without.

Part of the role of the pastor (as I see it anyway) is to protect the congregation from wolves. But a major part of the leadership of the congregation is to protect the pastor from wolves as well. I think that there is a strong core of leadership in the church, centered in the deacons. Several of the strong leaders on this committee are each deacons, and should give you some sense of the quality of the other deacons as well. They will strongly support our new pastor.

In addition, I am excited about the role that Bob [a PSC member] will play as our Personnel Committee chairman. He is going to be in close contact with all of the staff about what the church expects of them in their roles as ministers. If there are any personnel issues that need to be resolved, they will be resolved by the pastor. If he is unable to resolve these issues, then the personnel committee will step up and assist him

Elizabeth, if God sees fit to provide you and Rick with a place of ministry at Lakeview, I am (sadly) certain that you will each encounter wolves over the years. I cannot promise you that our city is wolf free, but I can promise you that as a committee and as leaders in the church, we will support you in fighting those wolves the best of our God-given ability. You won’t be alone. Through God’s strength, you have each defeated your share of wolves at your current church, and I am certain that if God is in this move to Lakeview, you will do the same here.

Taran

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3 Kid Book Reviews

Now for something completely different. I was asked to review three children's books. They are aimed at the toddler years, so its approximately equivalent to my maturity level. But in order to be objective, I figured that I would just read these with Squealer, and then report on his reactions. But he didn't really like any of them, so I'm somewhat at a loss. I think his five year old self is moving beyond toddler interests.

Of the three, God Gave us Heaven is the best. It narrates the wintery world of Little Cub. Little Cub awakens one morning with some important questions on her mind: What is heaven like? How do we get there? Will we eat in heaven? Will we be angels? During a cold day spent wandering their arctic world, Papa gently answers each question, assuring Little Cub that heaven is a wonderful place, "a million times better" than she can imagine. He explains how God has made a way for those who love him to enter their heavenly home forever after their lives on earth are over.

I think the best thing about this book is that it generated a great conversation between Kadie and Squealer when she read it to him. She mentioned that she will see her mom when she gets to heaven and (for the first time), Squealer inquired about his grandmother, whom we lost almost twenty years ago.

In When God Made My Toes, kids are drawn into the wonder of their creation by God. Their masterful artist who fashioned them just right for amazing and delightful adventures, such as roller skating, finger-painting, doing flips, and drinking cocoa. Imaginative rhymes and I did like the connection between the fact that we are a unique part of God's Creation. It nicely brings the idea that the same God who created the natural world, took time and effort to create us as well.

In God Loves Me More Than That, children learn that God loves them deeper than a wishing well, wider than a semi-truck, louder than thunder, and softer than a kitten's sneeze. Each question, presented with charming child-like faith will help young ones grasp the great love of God through comparisons and descriptions they can easily understand. In short, they'll discover that His love is bigger, wider, higher, and deeper than anything they could imagine! This one was our least favorite of the three.

Visiting His Home Church

After David’s resignation, we paused to consider where we were in the process. While we very much liked the candidate (let’s call him Rick) under discussion, we had not yet visited his church. Since I had seen him only once, and the alternate committee member (now a regular member) had not seen him at all, we decided that the two of us would go to visit pastor Rick’s church.

We told brother Rick the Sunday we would be arriving and got there a few minutes before the worship service. As per our custom, my partner went in first while I remained in the car. After a few minutes I went in and sat in another part of the sanctuary. When Rick arrived at the church a few years ago, there were three people present his first Sunday. Attendance had risen to in the fifties, although the Sunday we arrived there were in the forties. We were confused at first because the state WMU president was present and gave a report, followed by a NAMB resort missionary who gave a report on their work at an area lake.

An odd moment occurred after brother Rick began preaching because the WMU president stood up and said loudly (and I might add, somewhat proudly) “Brother Rick, I forgot to mention during my report that the WMU raised $2 million for Lottie Moon this last Christmas!!!” If Rick was aggravated at being interrupted, he didn’t let it show. He simply paused a moment and then said “Well I have no idea who this Lottie Moon lady is, but she certainly is rolling in the dough.”

Following the service, my partner and I hurriedly departed and quickly went out into my car to leave. As we stated pulling out of the parking lot, I kid you not, the WMU president came streaking out of the church, racing toward us holding aloft two bags full of WMU swag that she wanted everyone in the service to receive. I briefly considered flooring it, but didn’t want to create a larger scene. So I slowed down and rolled down my window as the older (and surprisingly spry) state WMU president breathlessly gave us our bags of samples.


We then drove down to the Presbyterian church and waited for pastor Rick to call us. He did several minutes later and I asked him where we could take he and his family out to eat. After consulting with his family, he said “Y’know, we could really use some McDonald’s right about now.” (When I turned in the meal receipts later to our Finance Chairman, I made sure he understood that Mickey D’s was the candidate’s idea.)

After getting the meal, we took it back to their parsonage and had a conversation that ran another 5 hours or so. It was a good conversation and only served to reinforce the strong feelings that the committee and the candidate were developing for one another.


Late in the evening, after we had talked a great deal, Rick’s wonderful wife started off a question with the following statement. “I may get my husband in trouble, but there’s a question that I just have to ask…” She then paused for a moment as she put the right words together.

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Resignation Aftermath

When I shared the news of David’s resignation to the committee, there was some anger. Mostly the anger was directed at the individual who was involved in the conflict with David’s wife. But there was also some frustration at the Personnel Committee. As I stated in my last post, the committee system at Lakeview had lain dormant for so long, that I don’t think that they were responsible for mishandling this situation.

Most of the Pastor Search Committee had no idea that this conflict had been ongoing. They were surprised and felt that we should monitor the situation. One result of this event is that it gave us as a committee an opportunity to discuss and understand that we had some personnel issues that needed to be addressed in the church. Shortly after these events came out our Personnel Committee chairman resigned (for unrelated reasons) and a member of the Search Committee was appointed chair of the Personnel Committee and began to deal effectively with these concerns. He gave periodic updates to the PSC and helped to address the concerns of the rest of the committee.

Letting the church know was a more difficult matter. I sought advice from various people to figure out how to best communicate that David had resigned. One advisor suggested that I simply not say anything and that people would only find out later. But I wanted to try to model communication to the church and felt that simply not telling them would be disingenuous. Some on the committee felt that we should announce it to the church during the next PSC report, four weeks away. My concern with this approach was the inordinate the length of time until our next report to the church. Honestly, one of the hardest thing for me to imagine was that people were praying for the entire committee by name every week and I felt that they should know what was going on. Plus I thought that Sunday morning was a pretty big stage and I wasn’t sure that it was the best setting for this announcement.

So we decided to announce the resignation during a business meeting. Since very few people outside the PSC and the Personnel Committee knew of the staff conflict, I was general about why David resigned. I simply said that he had resigned for personal concerns and he asked that I not disclose the reason. I assured the congregation that I wished David had not resigned and that he was not resigning because of any moral issue. I then asked if there were any questions.

Fortunately, there were none.

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David's Resignation

David’s wife had served for a period of time as the children’s minister at Lakeview Baptist. During that time she suffered the bumps and bruises that often accompany any ministry endeavor. But she also had a pretty high level conflict with one of our church secretaries. Feelings were hurt, and things were said on both sides that were unfortunate. On numerous occasions they clashed.

Finally, and as a direct result of these conflicts, David’s wife quit the church staff. David, understandably, thought that his wife had been tremendously wronged in this process. Contributing to his case was the fact that this secretary had also been involved in conflicts with previous staff members as well.

After years of ineffectiveness, the Personnel Committee had begun the process of addressing this situation, but not in a way that David approved. Essentially, David demanded that the secretary be terminated from her position immediately or they would leave. The Personnel Committee was taking a careful approach to the situation and was not moving as quickly as David would’ve liked. In addition, as he told me, his wife could no longer worship with “that woman” at Lakeview. As a result of these factors, David told me that they were gone. They haven’t been back since, although our families still socialize together. David told me later that one reason he stepped down from the committee is because he would’ve voted against the new pastor simply because this issue had not yet been dealt with (to his satisfaction). Since we were committed to a unanimous recommendation to the church, David would’ve effectively sabotaged the search process. So when David shared with me that God told him to resign from the committee, I didn’t disagree.

David's resignation presented two challenges to our committee. First, we had to assess what David’s departure meant to us as a committee. He was active in our discussions and brought successful business acumen into our conversations. Second, we had to address what would be the consequences of his departure when we announced it to the church. How could they trust a committee that couldn't even keep its own membership together?

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"Find the Door!!"

For those of you who are Dallas Cowboys fans and are (like me) far too cheap to subscribe to HBO, well God has smiled upon you and rewarded your faithfulness. The first episode of their Training Camp series Hard Knocks is available for free viewing here. Enjoy!

(Please finish your sermon before viewing.)

A Fine Second Meeting and Shocking News

Following our initial visit with the pastoral candidate, we quickly decided that the rest of the committee needed to meet him. We scheduled a Wednesday night service at a local church and asked him and his family to come. We also planned a post-service meal/discussion time where the rest of the committee could get to know him. When that Wednesday rolled around, the half the committee was excited about seeing him again, particularly those who had not yet met him.

But I wasn't there. I got sick that morning. Very sick. The kind of sick where your prayers change from desiring God's healing to desiring God's quick and fatal intervention. I was so sick I took more leave time that week than my previous six years combined. I was so sick…..but I digress.

The rest of the committee enjoyed the service immensely. There was some concern after his initial sermon that he read his notes too closely during the sermon, but those concerns were alleviated and chalked up to nerves. Following the service, they ate dinner with him and his family for several hours. Then after the candidate and his family left, the committee continued to meet and discuss the evening. All were pleased with how the evening went. As the senior member of the committee put it "He just seems too good to be true."

As committee chairman, I Was very pleased. Things seemed to be progressing nicely. We were several months into the process and for the first time, God had our minds and hearts set on a candidate whose personality seemed like a nice fit with our congregation. It was in the midst of this time of goodwill that I received news that sent shock waves through the entire search process.

I got a call from one of our committee members. David was one of my closest friends at church and our family often vacationed with his. He and his family joined Lakeview about two years before, but he quickly took on responsibilities and handled them extremely well, including getting the entire church to change Sunday School curricula. No small task!!

When I saw his name on my cell phone at work one afternoon, I answered with a casual "Hey David, what's up?" His voice was grave and measured. "Taran, I've decided that I can no longer be a part of the search process, or a part of this church. I'm resigning from the committee immediately and my family and I are never coming back."

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The Healing Choice Blog Review

How do you survive marital infidelity? How does a woman rebuild trust in her husband after he’s confessed some emotional and physical affairs, and lied about others?

Is there a way forward?

The Healing Choice: How to Move Beyond Betrayal by Brenda Stoeker and Susan Allen address these questions and many others. It is a very personal book, divided in half as each of these women tell their stories. They offer the reader a detailed prescription for dealing with these issues. First, realize that God is present even during the darkest days of our lives and second, there is a community of women who have had similar (and even identical) experiences and have survived these problems.

Stoeker and Allen each draw upon their own experiences with these issues and offer step-by-step advice for rediscovering intimacy with God and finding the support you need to move toward genuine spiritual and emotional restoration.

Strengths:

It’s a book written by and for women, particularly women who have experienced tremendous emotional pain. The stories told are told from a woman’s perspective. It makes for an unusual (though not unhelpful) read for a man.

It does provide helpful spiritual advice for women that includes a strong dose of community as well.

Weaknesses:
Most obviously is that men will not feel addressed in the book. (But, we've got enough alternate choices). I’m uncertain that it is much of a weakness, but simply a decision made by the authors to narrow their focus to a particular target market.

Overall, I think the strongest feature of the book is that it let’s hurting women know that they are not alone and offers a prescription of both Christ and community.

I have two copies of the book and one group study guide that goes along with it. Rather than having a contest on this one, I’d rather pass them along to people who need them. If you or someone you know would benefit from this book, I’ll send you a copy. Email me at the address listed above.

Family Man

I'm a big fan of Andrew Peterson. One of my favorite songs of his is Family Man, not so much because I identify with the person singing, but rather because I wish that I did. Here is a video someone has produced to accompany the song. It maketh me weepy.



"Family Man" from Trevor Little on Vimeo.

From Bonnets to Earrings...

At 10:22 on July 27 of 1995, my first child was born. Months of worry and a lifetime of prayers had led to that moment. I recall vividly in the early hours of the following morning that I sat and gently rocked her, long after the nurses had left and Kadie had finally succumbed to the fatigue of the day and the long night. (I also recall the Texas Rangers snapping an eight game losing streak, but that's not important right now).

So I was the only one in the room, rocking my newborn when the pediatrician came in to give her a check up. He was in his early forties, not too much older than I am today. He paused for a moment as he saw me rock her and he smiled and said “Tomorrow she’s going to be all grown up.”

I considered strangling him on the spot.

But he’s now been proved right. As of yesterday evening, we now have a teenager in the house. May God have mercy on our souls.

Kadie took her to get her ears pierced this weekend. Scooter has been looking forward to that rite of passage for most of her thirteen years. When she would ask why she couldn’t get them pierced any earlier, I always would respond “Because you will have the rest of your life to be a grown up. You can be a little kid for awhile longer.”

After they returned from the mall, she came up to me in the living room, pulled her hair back to display her new earrings and said “How do I look Daddy?”

For just a moment when I looked at her, all I could see was:

"You look beautiful, honey, just like you always have."

A Wordle of Coffeespoons

Wordle is a method of graphically depicting the words from a text (in this case, a blog) and apportioning their size based on frequency of use. So the more often they are used, the larger the text.

Click here for a wordle of Coffeespoons.

Meeting the Candidate

After our series of interviews, the committee reached a consensus on one particular candidate. We decided early on that when we began the second series of interviews, we would focus on only one candidate at a time. Initially, four of us traveled across the state to hear him preach at a church that was half-way between us. When we saw him we were shocked. He’s thirty years old and barely looks that. His wife is even younger. My initial thought was “He’s way too young and the older folks in the church would never like him.” But we introduced ourselves and he made a favorable first impression.

The sermon went well. His style was quite different from our previous minister who often equated volume with passion. While his approach is more conversational, the message was still challenging. Particularly positive from our perspective was that he preached a sermon appropriate to the church. It is a church located in a neighborhood transitioning from predominately white to predominately African-American. But the church shows little evidence of changing to meet the needs of the new community. His sermon was direct and challenging. Surprisingly (to us) the sermon was not directed to a search committee, but it was pointed directly at the church.

Following the service, we took him and his wife (and three kids) out to lunch. It was an enjoyable meal and didn’t feel at all like an interview. We had a very nice conversation with them for over four hours (!?). He and his wife shared their testimonies and provided a compelling narrative covering how God has been working their lives.

After they left, we discussed the meeting and all four of us felt that we had been a part of something very special. We each had an identical first impression (he’s too young) and then our perceptions began to change throughout the service and the subsequent meal. Two of the four who went later shared that at this meal they were convinced that he was the man God was leading to our church. (Lacking such discernment myself, it would only be later that I would reach the same conclusion). But clearly we each felt a rising sense of excitement by the end of the meal.

As we turned our mini-van toward home, I got a call from another member of the committee who had traveled to a different church that morning. Before he could give me a summary of his visit I interrupted him and said “Jim, I’ve got someone the rest of the committee needs to meet…”

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