Random Conversations

Conversations I’ve had over the past week:

Conversation #1 (At Home)
Skeeter: “Dad, do you know where my shoes are?”
Me: “Skeeter, I don’t even know where my own shoes are right now.”


Conversation # 2 (At Soccer Practice. Caleb is 8)
Me: “Caleb, at the beginning of the drill did you hear me tell you to pass the ball three times before you shot it?”
Caleb: “Yes”
Me : "While you were dribbling to the goal did you hear me shouting at you ‘PASS! PASS! PASS!!!!!”
Caleb: “Yes”
Me: “Why didn’t you pass the ball???”
Caleb: “Because I’m hyperactive!!!”

...silence...

Me: “Do you see that goal over there on the other side of the soccer fields?”
Caleb: “Yes”
Me: “Go run from here to there five times as fast as you can.”
(I'm experimenting with the hypothesis that an exhausted hyperactive kid is more manageable than a rested one. I'll report back the data as the season progresses.)


Conversation #3 (After Kadie asked me to take Squealer to Cubbies)

Teacher: “Do you have his mission money for this week and last week? Did he memorize his verses? Did he bring his item for show and tell?"

Me: “Ummm, I, uhh…Kadie was busy and she asked me to uhhhh..."

Teacher: (Interrupting) “Or are you just drop off Dad?”

Me: (In a crystal moment of clarity) “Yes, that’s it exactly. I'm merely drop off Dad.”





Conversation #4 (Out on a date)

Lastly, I took Kadie out on a date last Thursday evening. We went to a nice restaurant and returned to our Vue, which has a standard transmission. I had parked on an incline. I turned it on and then absentmindedly put it into reverse. We heard a horrendous screech as the car painfully moved a few inches backwards.

I quickly took the car out of gear.

Kadie: “That would be the parking brake, genius.”