I was approached this morning after church by an older (early sixties) couple. The gentleman asked me if I would marry him and his girlfriend, but not register their marriage with the courthouse. She is in her early sixties and is drawing social security due to the death of her husband a few years ago. If she marries, those checks stop.
He wants to get married so he can “be with her” (their words) and she wants to marry, but can’t live without her husband’s social security. For some reason their combined incomes won’t offset the loss of the government’s check.
They want to get married “in the Lord’s eyes” but not in Uncle Sam’s.
I told them that I wouldn’t marry them without registering the marriage at the courthouse. I suggested to her that she needed to prioritize her decisions and ultimately decide whether she loves him more than her Social Security check. If not, they shouldn’t get married.
Have any of you heard of this “Married in the Lord’s eyes” line?
4 comments:
When middle aged, middle class, middle-of-the-country people start making these kinds of distinctions, then I think we have evidence that marriage as an institution isn't quite what it used to be.
Just the opposite scenario happens at the end of life. Several years ago, I came in contact with an elderly gentleman in a nursing home who shared with me that he and his wife had divorced in order to allow him to get nursing home care without forcing her to liquidate the house along with everything else they owned. These are interesting times in which we live...
Given the continuing decline in marriage, I'm wondering at what point there will be a qualitative difference between marriages in the church and marriages outside the church.
Great arguments for encouraging folks to get their finances in order ASAP.
Taran, when we were married in Mexico, we had 2 ceremonies. The first, and only one that mattered legally was by the state. The second, which we celebrate as our anniversary took place six months later in V's church. In this country we represent the state and the religious institution at the ceremony. This debate is going to continue as the curve on our longevity continues to go up and Social Security struggles. My guess is that pastor's in FL, AZ and other high-retiree states deal with this far more often than we will. Good topic.
DD
Post a Comment