On A Green Horse: Vomiting

Vomiting comes up (sorry) often in our home, usually in a quotation which occupies the highest insult in our family “You miserable vomitous mass!” Plus there is something inherently fascinating to kids about throwing up and our household is filled with juvenile euphemisms ranging from the amusing (tossing cookies) to the brief (Yack) to the 70’s (throwing the velvet green carpet) to the crass (blowing chunks) to the literary (Great Expectorations).

Although it afflicts each of the kids equally, it seems to arise suddenly and with little prior warning. (This very day, as I am writing this, at 10:00 am I received a call from Scooter at school telling me that she had thrown up.) One day recently I had Squealer in my car after having dropped off Skeeter at school. Squealer said “My tummy hurts” as I drove along a major highway in our town. Looking quickly around the inside of the minivan I spotted my 2006 Dallas Cowboy souvenir cup from the last time I went to a game in Texas Stadium. Torn between my love for this particular cup and a new green interior for my vehicle, I quickly handed him my cup from the front seat as we sped along the road.

Just. In. Time.

But last week it hit Squealer pretty hard. Last Sunday evening, Squealer was acting lethargic at church which is another way to say something was seriously wrong. But as we so often do, we ignored the problem until we got home. Kadie left church earlier than I so that she could begin a 12 hour night shift. I took the kids home alone.

After we got home, I held a thermometer under Squealer’s arm and found that he had a raging fever of 103. I called nurse Kadie at work and she instructed me to give him some children’s purple Acetaminophen chewable pills. The color is important because I was to see it again later. A few minutes later I heard him cry out and complain about his stomach feeling like it was “wiggling”. He then arched his back (in that way familiar to sick children everywhere) and deposited the contents of his stomach on the floor and side of his bed. He then settled down and restlessly slept through the night (on a sleeping bag, for his bed linens were now in the wash).

We were presented with a problem the next day. Kadie arrived home from work around 7:00 am and was going to sleep through the day while the kids were in school. But Skeeter was now at home. After working all night, taking care of sick patients, she now worked all through the next day, keeping up with a sickly four year old (who obviously couldn’t go to school). Moms are saints.

She called me during the day and informed me that he needed suppositories for his fever. I got them for him and went back to work, thanking God yet again that He brought a beautiful R.N. into my life. It means that for any medical procedure, I can opt out due to her recognized expertise. I was unsure how it would go. What possibly passes through the mind of a four year old as he receives his first suppository?????

When I returned home I asked how the “procedure” went. She told me that she described it to him as a “bottom pill.” I applauded her descriptive prowess. “So how did he handle it?” I asked. She paused in thought for a minute and then looked me in the eye.

“He took it like a man.”