Nights have been unusual for us for years. Ever since Scooter was born a dozen annums ago, our schedule has been off its pre-child orbit. I was a heavy sleeper when Kadie and I married, but now I wake up at the slightest sound. An overactive paternal gland and active infants have ruined my slumbering prowess.
Scooter has been a sleep walker for years. I’m not sure what the proper term is, but I refer to it as “bladder induced somnambulance”. When her bladder is full, she wanders around the house, drawn to any light source. Usually it is the television in the living room. It is not uncommon, while Kadie and I are up late mocking Joel Osteen, that Scooter will wander in and start speaking nonsense. We then will carefully guide her to the bathroom and then off to bed. The next morning she never remembers the previous evening’s activities.
Skeeter is the only one whose sleep patterns approach normalcy. She’s simply a grouch when it is time to get up.
Squealer is still young enough to wake up crying out at various times. Recently he woke up screaming and screaming. When we arrived in his room he was obviously terrified and still shaking under his blanket. We asked him what was wrong?
“It…..it jumped up on my bed!!!” said the most pitiful voice imaginable.
“What was it, Squealer?” asked Scooter.
“It was….it was a SQUIRREL!” he shouted in terror.
We’ve got them all over our neighborhood and now that he knows they can jump up on his bed, he regards them more circumspectly.
Scooter has been a sleep walker for years. I’m not sure what the proper term is, but I refer to it as “bladder induced somnambulance”. When her bladder is full, she wanders around the house, drawn to any light source. Usually it is the television in the living room. It is not uncommon, while Kadie and I are up late mocking Joel Osteen, that Scooter will wander in and start speaking nonsense. We then will carefully guide her to the bathroom and then off to bed. The next morning she never remembers the previous evening’s activities.
Skeeter is the only one whose sleep patterns approach normalcy. She’s simply a grouch when it is time to get up.
Squealer is still young enough to wake up crying out at various times. Recently he woke up screaming and screaming. When we arrived in his room he was obviously terrified and still shaking under his blanket. We asked him what was wrong?
“It…..it jumped up on my bed!!!” said the most pitiful voice imaginable.
“What was it, Squealer?” asked Scooter.
“It was….it was a SQUIRREL!” he shouted in terror.
We’ve got them all over our neighborhood and now that he knows they can jump up on his bed, he regards them more circumspectly.
3 comments:
My boys occasionally have nightmares about spiders. I guess having Spiderman bedding doesn't help much. Caleb refuses to sleep with the Spiderman sheets anymore.
Your daughter is not the only sleepwalking person drawn to Joel Osteen.
Ashley,
That is funny!
Bobby,
It's comments like that which remind me why we keep you around here. Very nicely done...
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