A Love That's Stronger Than our Fears (V)

The evening after my presentation I had a conversation with Matthew, a student in my night class. Matthew is an excellent student who has displayed an intense interest in various bible classes I’ve taught over the last few years including two Bible classes (Pentateuch and the Gospels) and one theology (the Problem of Evil).

And he is also gay.

He was president of the Gay/Straight group last year and attended my presentation earlier in the day. Because of our past relationship, I wanted his honest opinion.

Matthew sighed and said that he was disappointed to hear my views. “But, you might as well think homosexuality is sinful, everyone else does” he said with some exasperation. I pointed out to him that I think homosexual acts are sinful, not homosexuality itself. His shrug indicated that he saw my response as a distinction without a difference.

Matthew continued wearily: “You may not believe this Dr. Taran, but I’m a Christian. I don’t believe that God would condemn someone for the way He had made them.” I felt that my role was to listen, and not debate, so I said nothing.

“Remember my friend Nathan?” I nodded. A week before, Matthew told me privately that he was going to miss a few class periods because a good friend of his, Nathan, was dying of HIV. Matthew had sworn to Nathan years before, when he was first diagnosed, that he wouldn’t let Nathan die alone. So Matthew went up to the nursing home for a few days until Nathan died.

“Nathan grew up in a fundamentalist church. And when he came out of the closet in high school, some of the people in that church said some pretty hate filled things to him. But over the last few years of our friendship, I shared with Nathan that there were some good, loving Christians out in the world. Just because he had encountered some vicious people who claimed the name of Christ, doesn’t mean that Jesus was that way.”

“Dr. Taran, because of my witness to Nathan, he came to know the Lord. I firmly believed that he died a Christian.” I shared with Matthew that I certainly hoped that was the case and then we were quiet. "Well, it's getting late. I'll see you later." and Matthew left the classroom.

So where does that leave me? Essentially where I started, but with perhaps more understanding of the outlook of certain homosexuals. I still think that homosexual actions are sinful, but as I told the group, we are all sinners. A person practicing homosexual activity can be a Believer just as an adulterer, glutton or liar can.

But God calls each of us to change….and that includes me. And I believe I’ve changed somewhat through this process. The title of this series has been (in addition to being cribbed from a Derek Webb song about torture) a reminder that we are called to go and be among the sinners, even when it involves overcoming a fear of how a group might treat us. Even when sharing the gospel in hostile settings, “the love of Christ compels us.” That is an ideal to live up to, and one I'm pretty miserable at following.

(With school beginning again tomorrow, I anticipate more time to finish out the extended series on our Pastor Search Committee. We'll see!)