Thanks to all who commented.
Your comments reinforced my general inclination. I went by the church today and discussed my concerns with our pastor. He responded that given our current low attendance in church, he was concerned about using the same people over and over again to do committee work. He wanted some fresh blood on the committees. Since we’re suffering anemic attendance, he thought that it was best to put Bob on the committee. Plus, given Bob’s skill set, he is essential for our church right now.
I then suggested that by his reasoning we should abandon all of the bylaws until attendance picks up. I told him that I have no problem with abandoning the bylaws, but the church should make that decision, not one or two of us. He agreed with this reasoning and then asked if we should ask Bob to wait six months and then put him on the committee. I told him that his suggestion was in line with the bylaws and I would be fine with it. He said that he would suggest that to the Committee on Committees. They have now made the decision to disinvite Bob from the committee.
Part of my hesitation in speaking to my pastor about this issue is that I vowed years ago that I would never be “that guy” in a church who was a thorn in the flesh of the pastor. I think my pastor understands that, but I am wary of endangering our relationship.
It was a tense conversation, but in the end, a good one. I continue to find, to my amazement, that confrontation can be a very good thing. I think that all of you who commented on this blog are well aware of that fact, but it is something that I’m still learning.
Thanks again for the advice. (Did you notice that it got pithier as it progressed from Mr. Ginger’s verbosity to Dave’s slogan-like summary at the end?)
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3 comments:
Better to be "pithy" than "verbose"....lol (although I have more often been accused of being the former). I'm glad things worked out well to this point. Is there any reason why the "six monther" couldn't go ahead and begin meeting with the committee and contributing unofficially? He would be sort of an observing bystander preparing for service. I would assume that the church's committees are all open and that any member can attend and observe.
Dave,
Great idea! I presented your suggestion to the Chair of the Committe on Committees and he agreed. I think that this will work well.
I gave you no credit.
I wish I was pithy :-(
The irony is that at work, I'm generally the least verbose. But I work with a bunch of academics, some of whom seem to prefer extended explanation to rule following.
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